Crazy Town

Greetings from Crazy-Town, USA!

Oh my gosh, you guys, I am riding quite the roller coaster and I am hating every second of it. It's completely fascinating and irritating to me that the chemical makeup of my brain and how I function can completely change just because I had a baby. And change so dramatically! I've never experienced anxiety like this before. Just when I think I'm doing much better and am in the clear, something happens that spikes my anxiety and depression again. And it's not always the same thing, so I never know what to expect. I usually struggle when Cory is working and that shouldn't be the case. I'm seeing a mental health nurse practitioner on Tuesday to talk medication options because I need to find a solution to this ASAP. Postpartum mental illness is no joke!!


So aside from the fact that I feel like a different person every other week, things are going ok. Really, overall, they are.

We're busting our butts this year to help Kennedy get caught up on grade level. It's been really hard on her to be one of the youngest in the grade. She's made huge improvements this year, but still has a ways to go. So we're doing everything we can think of to help.
 Kennedy really is a gem. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. I never thought my own kids would be an example to me of how I should be living, but she is. Someday, Brynlie and Logan will realize how lucky they are to have her watching out for them.
 She's so dang helpful and nurturing.

 Little Dude is doing well. He is definitely our laziest baby. He just barely rolled from his stomach to his back this past week or so and still hasn't rolled the other way. He WILL NOT stand on his legs, and he grabs things but still won't bring them to his mouth. He's still terrible at keeping a binky in. I want to just get rid of it but it puts him to sleep so fast... I don't know. I guess we will just keep hoping that he either figures it out or learns to suck his thumb instead hahaha.
 It was my turn to catch a cold this past week as well. Oh, how I hate winter. But I'm finally feeling better so that's been really helpful.
 Just some buddies, hanging out.

Kennedy made me a book about "The Christmas With a Big Moon and Snowman." She wrote and illustrated the whole thing, by herself.
 My spicy little Boo. She's such a complex person, but I love everything about her. I can't really put into words what it is I love about her so much. She can be so freaking hilarious when she's in the right mood. She can be down right rotten, then turns around the next second and can melt your heart.
 Like when she cuddles with me when I'm sick.
 We broke out some Candy Land the other night. The girls had a blast playing with Daddy! Somehow, when they play with him, they don't throw fits if they don't win. They were just loving the experience.
 We all also played Go Fish after this. I had to team up with B since she didn't quite know how to read the cards, but she was a sneaky little thief and kept stealing cards from Cory's match pile when no one was looking.
 We went to Get Air last week with our neighborhood playgroup. They have toddler time on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10-12. The little ones have free reign of the complex and can play on anything they want. Brynlie had the time of her life!!

 I was also so touched because I was stuck sitting on one of the couches holding a sleeping Logan, but all the other moms stepped up and helped her when she needed it and played with her without even being asked ... I'm telling you, the people I live by are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!
 We will be going back because this is right up Kennedy's isle and she was in school.

Those freaking lashes, though.

I keep telling myself I'll figure life out soon. And I will someday, I'm sure. I'm just going to be a hot mess until then. So if you love to watch people self-destruct, keep coming back and reading my blog *winky face*

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