Checking In

Phew!! What a horrible time to have a newborn haha! 

Ok, there's never a horrible time to have a sweet baby, but life has been a little rough for everyone. Cory and I are trying to adjust to not getting a good nights rest anymore. He really isn't awful. He gets up 2-3 times a night to eat and usually goes back to bed, but last night he was awake for 1.5 hours with me which wasn't fun... 

I'm trying to stay normal while dealing with post-partum hormones. I've done much better than in the past, so that's good. I had one minor meltdown last night when the girls were pushing my every limit and not going to bed -- I got super freaked out for doing this on my own when Cory goes back to work. But it passed and today I feel much more stable. 

Logan has completely stolen my heart. And I'm not joking. I've never been this bonded with a baby right off the bat. It would physically hurt my heart to not be holding him. Today is the first day where I could put him down and not ache enough that I would pick him back up again. 

The girls are having a rough time. Not necessarily because of him (although I'm sure that's part of it) but because we had him right in the middle of other big life events. Kennedy is struggling with all day school. I know she'll get the hang of it but it makes me sad. Her teacher is fantastic though, so I know it's only a small matter of time before she gets used to the schedule and school work again. 

Brynlie is still missing Kennedy like crazy!! We did take her to see her preschool today and I hope that'll help her want to go next week. In the meantime we've been spreading out our errands over the week to keep us entertained. Today was Lowes, which she actually enjoyed quite a bit. 

And can we please talk about her cute little Adidas shoes?! 

Who knew those things were going to make such a comeback! Lol but they're adorable. 

Although our house is a whirlwind of emotions, overall I think we're all happy and adjusting fairly well. 

We'll see how much the tune changes when Cory goes back to work... See you soon! 


I Have No Idea What To Title This Post

Hey everyone!! Greetings from adorable baby land! 

I'm warning you now this post is going to be all over the place... I'm just going to go through my camera roll and apply thoughts as they come to me. It'll be just like talking to someone with ADD or who is sleep deprived. Fun for you! 

While I am insanely happy Logan is here and healthy, he really came at a very busy time. I was still in the hospital on Kennedy's first day of first grade which made me so sad!! But she got to come to the hospital that morning so I could do her hair. She had breakfast with us and got to hold her brother again before Cory took her. So we have a less traditional first-day-of-school picture. 

But Cory took lots of cute pictures of her and she's had a great week so far. 

Her teacher is really cool and I'm excited to see what she learns. 

I was released from the hospital a couple hours later and we finally got to go home!! 

Brynlie made sure everyone was clean and smelling fresh before we headed out. 

Other than not having to worry about nighttime feedings, I am not a fan of the hospital. So it was so good to get home! 

I am doing really well. My back was really sore (and still has some lingering soreness) but other than that I haven't needed any pain medication for anything else. I think many people don't take me seriously when I say pregnancy is really hard on me because I feel WAY better than I ever did being pregnant. Even with less sleep. So I've been feeling great and have gone on many "outings" to the store. In fact we went to Target right after being released and the lady at the checkout kind of yelled at me for being there. But we needed a few things for him that we still didn't have and I promised her I would go home and rest. Which I did. 

We've been enjoying many, many baby snuggles. 

I can't get enough of him!! I really can't! I got super emotional this morning thinking about how this is the last time we will ever have a newborn. I won't ever get these moments again so I'm going to cherish them. I never ever want him to grow up!! He was 1,000% worth every minute of getting him here. 

He definitely has his days and nights mixed up, but we're doing our best to change that. And with Cory helping me I'm feeling hopeful we can get him down to at least 2 feedings a night before I have to tackle it alone when he's working. Fingers crossed! I also started my post-partum-depression medication right away this time, so I'm also feeling confident that I'll be able to handle things much more easily this time around. I'm definitely still having hormonal swings cause I cry super easily, but it's usually for normal things (like Kennedy being sad) and I don't feel hopeless and terrified. 

One thing that isn't going well is Brynlie is having a really hard time, and that makes me sad. 

In one week she lost her binky (which she still cries for), suddenly lost her Mom and Dad for a few days, got a new brother, and lost her sister who's now at school the whole day. It's been rough for her. 

She's been loving on Logan more than I expected. She wants to hold him a lot and she talks to him frequently. While getting ready this morning she helped keep his binky in and kept giving him hugs. 

I think the thing that's been the hardest for her is losing her sister. They played together constantly all summer long and now her best friend is gone. She's been crying a lot for her saying she wants "her Tay-Tay" (that's what she calls her). 

(And now I'm crying... see? Normal things) Brynlie has even started sleeping on the top bunk with Kennedy at night because she's having such a hard time. I think it'll help when she gets to start preschool in a couple weeks herself. And when we get back to a normal life routine again. Poor girl. 

Kennedy, on the other hand, could not love her brother more! 

She's constantly wanting to hold him and is always asking me if he is ok. Once again, she's the guardian angel for our family and my heart is even more full of love for her for being like that. In fact today I put Logan on the floor to wake him up and get some clothes put away and he started to get fussy cause he doesn't like the carpet. She fixed it for him. 

And then she sat and watched him in case he lost his binky or kicked the blanket off so she could be there to help. I'm excited for her to spend more time with him this weekend since she won't be at school. 

Cory is the best Dad! That man is amazing!! But one thing he is not good at is sitting around the house. We've been home 2 days and he's already going crazy. 

But at least he will have some time to get some projects done, like this one; fixing our little light post out in our yard, because apparently today was the day it needed to get done hahaha. 

My heart is very full right now and I'm feeling so blessed. I was holding Logan today and got a strong feeling that he is a very special spirit. Of course that made me cry... but a good cry. I love my girls so much it hurts, but I'm also so glad I'm getting to experience the bond between a mother and her son, because it really is something special. 

And I feel like he's pretty close to perfect. 

And I am loving how tiny he is! 

Well that's it for now. The girls are outside "helping" Cory with the mess he made (aka, throwing dirt at each other) so I'm going to go enjoy some more one on one time baby-snuggles. See you soon! 


He's Here - The Whole Story

Baby Logan is here!!! 

I find it super ironic that I blogged about him never getting here and then 12 hours later he proved me wrong haha. 

First the stats, and then I'll go into the whole story down below with more pictures. He was born at 5:39pm on eclipse day weighing 7lbs 3oz, which is pretty big for being 2.5 weeks early, and measuring 20.5" long. He is pure perfection and is our first child to be born without red hair. Gasp!! 

I literally cannot put him down. He is so perfect. 

Ok, so the whole graphic story. This part is best read by women who have also given birth... just warning ya...

I woke up at 7:30 Monday morning and was sitting on the couch with Brynlie. After about 30 minutes I started to notice I was having kinda painful contractions that felt like menstrual cramps. They felt nothing like the Braxton hicks I've had for months and months. They were coming pretty fast too, about 2-3 minutes apart. But some were painful and others were just kind of meh. I googled the pain cause I had never had that before and everything I read said that's how early labor pains start. My hopes started to rise but I also was positive that this wasn't the real thing. 

Cory was sleeping because he had just gotten off the night shift for work, and I was supposed to wake him up at 11 so we could watch the eclipse. I decided to give it until then and see how I felt. I was sure it would stop by then. 

I took a hot shower and then decided to go to Costco. I figured the trip would either make it worse or get it to stop. So I loaded up the girls and we went. By the time we were loading stuff in the car, I was having to stop and breathe through the contractions. We got home, unloaded, and Cory woke up. 

I decided to stay sitting down and start really timing them. So during our eclipse viewing I was timing my labor contractions haha. Cory was supposed to leave for work at 3:30 and I was totally unsure if I should send him to work or if we were having a baby. I timed them for 2 hours and they were fairly consistently about 5 minutes apart. Some were longer, some were shorter. They started to get more intense as well. Cory had gone back to bed and I told him I would wake him up if something happened. 

Around 1:30 I had a particularly bad one and said a prayer because I wasn't sure what to do. I decided after that to at least call my doctor and he said to go to the hospital and get checked. Great. I was only 1cm a few days ago. This was where they were going to tell me I still wasn't dilated and send me home. But I also had a feeling this was really it, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. 

We got ahold of our neighbor and she graciously took our girls until my mom got off work to come get them. I frantically packed a bag in case I wouldn't be coming home (I guess I should have been more prepared haha) and we went to the hospital a little after 2pm. 

I felt totally stupid telling the people at registration, "I think I'm in labor and my doctor said to come get checked". Who thinks they're in labor on their 3rd kid? Oh wait, someone who has always been induced! Haha  They quickly sent a nurse down (who happened to be the same nurse we LOVED during Brynlies delivery) and she got me in a gown and ready to be checked. The moment of truth...

She checked me and I was at a 5-6. She said I was super stretchy though so I could have been even farther along. I started to panic a bit. We were having a baby!! Today!! With both girls by the time I reached 5cm the whole birthing process happened in less than an hour. I started to freak out that I wouldn't have time to get the epidural!! 

Thankfully, no one else was in labor and the anesthesiologist came in right away. They didn't even have my IV hooked up yet. After some struggles to get it in the right spot (OUCH!) I was finally up and going and pain free! Yay! 

The nurse then reminded me that my water still hadn't broken and that's why he wasn't here yet. Because of that he wasnt all the way down and pushing on my cervix to come out, so they were just waiting to see if my doctor wanted to do it or wait for it to happen naturally. 

Shortly after the epidural I started to get really sick and whoozy. The medicine was making my blood pressure drop significantly which was causing the sickness. We tried having me lay down and they put me on oxygen but that didn't work and eventually they brought me some medicine to help. Thankfully after a little bit it did the job and I was back to being relaxed and in shock that we were really doing this right then. 

Around 5:30 my doctor finally showed up and asked if I wanted to have the baby now or keep waiting. Uh... now! They prepped everything, he broke my water, and I was instantly ready to push. After 3 pushes he was out in a breeze, 9 minutes later, with no pain whatsoever! And I didn't even need stitches! It was the easiest delivery ever! 

They set him on my chest and cleaned him off while he cried and cried. I kept getting frustrated cause I couldn't see his face through all the towel wiping. And within seconds he had pooped on me... and then they let me do some skin to skin and he pooped a little more. So that was a fun intro to having a boy haha. 

After a short while we were ready to have the girls meet him. My mom told me Kennedy was just bouncing off the walls with excitement!! It was super important to us to have some special family time together and I'm so glad we did!! I can't even explain how much Kennedy adores him. She loves everything about him and just can't stop looking at him or talking to him. They really needed that time alone with their brother. And they even got to see his first bath, and watch him pee all over the poor nurse. 

She ran up to me and said "oh my gosh I can't believe we have a baby brother!" She is going to be the best big sister! 

I know Brynlie doesn't quite get what's going on, so she's a little unsure, but she did want to keep holding him and touching him. 

And we got our first picture as a family of 5. I hate how swollen the IV fluids always make me in every delivery picture, but at least they're all consistent haha. 

He has been such a good baby so far. But really, what newborn isn't. We adore him and love him and he has some pretty great big sisters who are so ready for him to come home! 

I am super bummed I will be missing Kennedys first day of school tomorrow, but Cory is on strict instructions to take lots of pictures. And hopefully I will be home by the time she gets home so we can all just relax together as a family. I can't wait to get home! 


The Nursery and Stuff

37.5 weeks you guys. The longest pregnancy in human history is coming to an end. Not today, not tomorrow, not even next week... but some damn day it'll be over with. 

I'm predicting by the time he decides to come he'll be in the 8lb range by the looks of things (aka, the looks of me). That is one massive belly! He's not showing many signs of wanting to grace us with his presence which makes me want to throat-punch someone. But someday this will all be worth it. To all you lucky people having 5-6lb babies; I hate you. 

But he has a finished nursery to come home to! 

Let me start by saying this did not turn out how I visioned it. At all. When I decided on a Jeep theme I knew I wanted to make it more Jeep/Moab themed. First, Jeep fabric is kinda hard to find. Second, Moab anything is pretty much impossible to find. I had envisioned the walls being a redrock red, not blue, and a big Delicate Arch either on the crib quilt or painted on the wall. But those ideas fell through. When my mom showed me the quilt she was making, I decided I had better go in a different direction and match that instead. Unfortunately I had already ordered some fabric to match my original idea, so not everything matches. But we made do, and it still turned out alright. 

Walking into the room:

I found a killer deal on canvas portraits on Groupon so I ordered a few of our favorite Moab/Jeeping pictures to hang around the room. 

You can't tell because of the glare but the clock is a tire and the hands are tools. I also ordered that Yankees hat for newborn pictures. The site said it was infant size... not even close. Brynlie can wear it and she's 3. So he will have to grow into it. 

The closet

Where we will be spending many sleepless nights...

The photo above the chair is actually a gorgeous panoramic shot of our trip with the Jeep Safari last year, but I couldn't find anyone to print it for cheap, so I settled on cropping it down. I also really wanted a new rocking chair but it wasn't in the budget. I need to paint the little table but let's be honest, that's probably not going to happen haha. 

You'll notice red "accents". Those are from when I thought the room would be more red than blue. Oh well. 

I sure do love that Jeep decal though. 

Here's the fabric that inspired it all. It was too cute not to use (also non-refundable) so we went with it anyway even though it technically doesn't "match" the quilt. My mom made the mattress sheets out of it and I love it. 

So it's finally done! I've never cut it this close before on getting a nursery ready, but I have zero faith in him coming on his own. None. I don't even have a hospital bag packed, the car seat installed... nothing. I'm 100% sure I'll have to be induced at some point, which gives me time to get that crap ready. It's probably the sheer exhaustion in me, but it honestly feels like he's never going to come. I just want to sleep the next few weeks away. Can I?! 

Tomorrow is the great and powerful eclipse. I'm a little excited, and then part of me wondered if maybe it would be a good, not-so-busy time to go to Costco haha. I'm anxious to see the pictures from everyone who ventured the mobs to see the whole thing. Should be cool! 

See you soon. 


A Fun Workout and Devastation

Hello, all! 

We got to celebrate this handsome dude's birthday yesterday. 

I can't put into words how much I love and appreciate him. As much as I wanna go on and on about how mind-blowingly good-hearted he is, I'll spare you the mush. But just know he is one special guy and Kennedy definitely gets her tender heartedness from him. 

We spent the day finishing Logan's nursery. (Pictures are coming soon. We finally got some touch up paint and I hope to be able to fix those stupid spots tomorrow and then I can take pictures). Cory put up the blinds and curtains and finished the shelf and hanging rod in the closet and I hung up some canvas portraits. I told Logan he can officially come now, but he's not listening. 

For dinner my mom watched the girls and we headed to Tucano's; our yearly tradition. It was delicious as always, and I downed two whole jars of the mango lemonade. 

I mean, it's amazing normally, but apparently it was just what I needed. Our waiter even let us take some home in a cup haha! It was fun to have a little date night and celebrate the man who keeps my world turning. Literally.  

This morning my gym hosted a kids workout as a fundraiser for Operation Underground Railroad. Since Kennedy has been so in to fitness lately, I knew we couldn't miss it!! She was totally in her element! And this was just the warm up! 

Then the actual fun started. They had to begin with 10 sit-ups

Then lift a 12lb ball over that bar 5 times. 

Then 5 pull-ups, which she did all on her own (we won't tell her those are actually chin ups haha) 

Next they had to hop over a bunch of benches. Kennedy was so fast I couldn't get a picture of her. Then over the stacked tires, which she also just blew through - American Ninja Warrior style. 

Then through these tires

And lastly they ran through some cones and had to do a frisbee toss, neither of which I got pictures of. 

Cory and Brynlie came, too! And thank goodness Cory did because I wouldn't have been able to handle both kids alone since B needed help on stuff. Her sit ups were the CUTEST thing I think I've ever seen and I didn't have my phone to get a picture! She also struggled with the ball-over-the-bar thing since the ball weighs half her weight. But Daddy was there to help with the pull-ups. 

And she made it over the benches just fine 

And really concentrated on the tires. That tongue sticking out means it's serious business. 

I was not allowed to touch her or help her on anything. It had to be Daddy. 

They both had a total blast and I loved every second of watching them. Especially Kennedy cause you could tell she was so proud of herself and was working so hard. I hope I can keep this love of being active and strong alive in all my kids. 

So we're about a year and a half overdue for this... but we decided since we're having a baby in a few weeks that we had better get Brynlie off her binky. Yep, she was still sleeping with one. I know, I know... let's not talk about it. We decided to go with the Build-A-Bear idea again and see if it helped. 

We didn't have the heart to tell Kennedy she couldn't pick one out, so we let them both get something. Holy cow you guys, that place is EXPENSIVE!! Employee after our children just picked out a $25 stuffed animal: "Would you like to add a sound recorder? How about a scent package? How about a special beating heart you can place inside? Did you see our My Little Pony Capes? These brushes are perfect for brushing out the pony's hair. We have pajamas for the bear that she will love! How about some sunglasses? Did you want a $5 special "take home" backpack for each animal?" Um, heck NO!!! Stop hawking your crap on us! And thanks for telling us about all this "fun" stuff in front of our listening kids who then begged for them. We finally let them pick ONE accessory and then left feeling like we got punched in the gut. I don't think we'll ever go back. 

B put her binky in her "heehaw" just fine and they had tons of fun in the store and played with them pretty much the whole rest of the day. We tried to get her to take a nap since she was super cranky. She didn't sleep, but she never whined or asked for a binky so I was feeling super hopeful. And although we didn't love the idea of having to get Kennedy one, too, she has actually loved her bear an insane amount which has made it worth it. She even insisted the bear come with us to Lowes... in style. 

But... bedtime finally came and when Brynlie was told her binky was gone inside her Heehaw, she lost it. Her world came crashing down around her. She begged me to get the binky out and even tried briefly to tear open her pony and get it herself. She refused to sleep with her new pony since now it has betrayed her and she SCREAMED AND BAWLED!!! I let her go for about 30 minutes and then finally went back in their room and helped her calm down enough to fall asleep. Sweet Kennedy was trying to help her and even said a prayer for her that she would be ok with her new pony and not be sad without her binky. Can you believe that?? 

I anticipate a rough night, or even a rough few nights, until she gets used to this new change. We are definitely kicking ourselves for waiting so long and for waiting right up until we have a newborn who will be bringing rough nights with him as well. We're dumb. But whatever. 

Given that we'll probably be waking up to sad crying lots, I think I had better get myself to bed. See you soon!