Random Acts of Camera Roll

Our family has been under an intense amount of stress the last couple weeks. Everyone is alive and healthy, so don't worry, but life has been pretty hard. Whenever I get really stressed like this, I kind of sink into my lonely little comfort zone and block out the world, because I literally can't handle any more on my plate. In fact the other day I was feeling so overwhelmed I actually started having contractions and got pretty sick to my stomach. That scared me a bit, so I've been taking it easy and trying not to worry about things or put too much on my plate each day. The last thing we need is a premmie baby with an extended NICU stay. 
Although if we could make it happen in a healthy way, I would have this baby out STAT! Kennedy is so ready to meet her brother! 

We were watching something on my phone together, but now I can't remember what. My discomfort level keeps growing, but I'm trying to keep pushing through. This is my last time. This is my last time. This is my last time. I can do this. 

I think Kennedy knows I'm having a hard time because she has been extra helpful and kind. And if you know how sweet she is normally, that's almost a nauseating level haha. Brynlie stole her spot on the couch and instead of fighting over it, she got them both blankets and moved to the other side so they both could lay down. I literally cried. 
Brynlie came out of her room the other day saying she wanted to show me her baby. I fully expected to see her carrying one of her dolls... but this was an adorable surprise. 
We had a brief cool spell of weather which I LOVED, and it didn't stop the girls from being outside. They took their lunch outside and had a picnic in Grandma's backyard. 
Our backyard is a disaster. Like, DISASTER! It's going to take an army to get all the weeds cleaned up, so we're putting that off until next spring. And hopefully we can get some garden boxes going. Eek!!! So excited to grow fresh veggies! Anyway, we have been working hard this week getting our front yard looking presentable. After several days of weed pulling and 22 bags of mulch later (the flowerbeds out there are HUGE) it looks pretty awesome. I think the girls are sad our trips to the garden department at Lowe's are at an end for now. Daddy makes it such a thrill and doesn't keep snapping at them like Mommy does. 
My Mom wanted to make a quilt for Logan and has started working on it. I love it so much already! This may shock you, but we're going with a Jeep theme for the nursery, so I think she nailed the fabric. 
Kennedy has a birthday coming up. She's wanted (and really needs) a bigger bike. We went looking at Walmart the other day and she didn't even bother to look at a single girly bike. She zoomed right to a bright green bike with orange flames on the frame because it looked super, super fast and was her favorite color. She screamed up and down the isles on that thing and wants that exact bike. I went back to get it the other day... it's gone. It was last years model and the ones they have now are blue and orange. After much deliberation, I decided to get a different green one and I'll just get flame stickers to put on it. She will notice though, and I'm so bummed I couldn't find the exact bike she wants, but oh well. Hopefully she will love this one, too. 

Since she'll be zipping around on a boys bike, I went to the helmet section to pick out a girly helmet for her. All the girl helmets her size (that weren't Disney or Paw Patrol) were gone except this one, which she obviously hates
I gave it to her early since she's been cruising on a toddler bike with no helmet for a while now (safety first! Haha) so it was time to get her protected. She didn't take it off all day and had to show every person who walked by our house, and we get a lot of walkers every day. She freaking loves it. 
She also freaking loves egg drop soup, so she needed a straw to get every last drop. 
Today we got to go swimming with Daddy. It was HEAVEN! Cory and Kennedy had a total blast together doing all kinds of stunts onto, and off the tube. 

I floated around and just relaxed which was so, so nice. I can't even explain all the good feels we had today being together and just enjoying the moment. It was therapy. Brynlie was more timid with the pool today, probably cause she couldn't touch the bottom, so she was in and out, but still had tons of fun. Her hair... haha I love it. 
After hours of swimming, we were all pretty tuckered out. B came home and crashed on the couch and was snoring up a storm! She is such a sweet little thing. 
We also checked out the Bountiful Car Show for a bit and then came home and crashed. We played hard today! 

Even though life is hard for now, and the light at the end of the tunnel may not be visible yet, I'm trying really hard to count my blessings. I suck at that. I do go to bed every night and literally cry over how thankful I am for Cory and my girls. I'm also grateful to be having a sweet little boy, even though getting him here sucks and has definitely been adding to the difficulty of life. So I have no trouble recognizing that my amazing family is most important and they are what makes me happy. But I need to take the time to realize all my other blessings as well and it's something I'm working on. I do have a lot to be thankful for and happy about and not everyone can say that. Bare with me as I learn to focus on the positive instead of letting the negative trials swallow me whole. 

See you soon! 

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