Things started out ok
I'm not sure what else I can do. I have 16 more days before I can see my doctor and I'm gaining so rapidly, regardless of what I do, I'm not even sure I'll be able to run by then. I feel like I've lost complete control of everything. Wasn't it just yesterday I was having the run of my life at the Ogden Marathon? How and most importantly, WHY are things falling apart so rapidly? It's a very scary feeling and I've spent so much time in prayer trying to understand how to cope with this but I'm having such a hard time. It's difficult to suppress my anxiety and feel calm that things will be ok. Deep down I do have faith it will be. But with each passing day that I have to put aside another article of clothing that won't fit, tell Kennedy I can't play outside because I'm too tired, or each night I spend in tears fighting my moods and depression it gets harder and harder.
I came home from the run and decided to try the last 3 miles on the treadmill.
I showered and the girls and I watched a movie. Well, Kennedy and I did; Brynlie practiced her acrobatic skills.
I'm looking forward to a new week. I'm going to try my best to be positive and actually have a smile on my face.
See you soon!