6.23.2016

Rough

Man, it's been a rough couple of days. I could take your precious time and tell you all the crazy things that have happened, but it's really not that relevant, so I'll skip it all. 


I'm really struggling lately. I'm feeling super guilty for being so tired that I fall asleep on my kids all the time instead of doing fun things with them. Well, I usually fall asleep on Kennedy since Brynlie is generally napping, too. 
(From Father's Day when we both fell asleep)
I've gained 10lbs in just the last month. I feel completely out of control that I can't stop it. I don't know what to do and I'm running out of clothes to wear.  


I'm really frustrated that I can't seem to remember anything lately. I've left food out on the counter all day, forgotten to make sure things are locked/shut/put away that I usually never forget, I've spaced plans with friends and important information and birthdays, and I keep having to remind myself to really concentrate when I'm driving because I get distracted easily. It's been a little scary actually. I'm still battling depression, still having anxiety over our house... I just feel like a mess. My desire to blog has been super low, so I apologize for the dip in enthusiasm. 


I plan on calling my doctor Monday and asking if they can call me if they have any cancelations because I don't think I can last another month before hopefully finding a solution. I need to get myself healthy and happy again. 

Also, I had to open and mix a new jar of peanut butter, so that doesn't help my mood, either ;)
I hate mixing it up. 


But I have been finding things to keep me distracted that are fun. We went to the Parade of Homes this week which was great. This home theatre was probably the best one I've ever seen. Check out that couch! I would never leave it! 
And we finally made it to Lagoon-a-Beach. 
Life isn't all bad, I just feel the bad things taking over the good more and more and I feel powerless to stop it. I have no words for how much I hate that feeling. 


This weekend marks the birthday festivities for our little Kennedy so I'll have more happy and upbeat things to discuss. I'm really excited for a fun weekend with my family! Oh, and it's our 8 year anniversary. 


I also haven't been running much because of weird pains in my feet. My plantar fasciitis is bugging me on my right foot and the toes and ball of my foot on the left side have a painful numbing/stinging feeling when I run. I don't know what to make of it because I've never experienced it before. I don't know if it's something serious or something I can keep running through. I've basically just been doing my weekend long runs and seeing how I feel. 


So, life is kind of a mess right now. I am so anxious to get my blood work back and start getting some help. Until then I'll keep praying for help and try to make more of an effort to find the joy in life. 


See you soon! 

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