Well That Sucked

I elected to get up at 5:00 am on a Saturday morning and go running... In the wind... The strong wind... 

To say it sucked is an understatement. 
12 miserable and slow miles this morning. The way out I had huge wind gusts from the east trying to push me over, the way back was uphill and against strong headwind. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger... Right? 

This was hands down my worst run of this training cycle. It wasn't just the wind, either. Because I've been so emotional this week, I've also been super hard on myself and haven't been eating the best. I felt that today. I have lots of songs on my running playlist who's lyrics remind me of where I've been in my past, so those emotions can push me and help me see how far I've come and what I've been able to conquer in my life. I tried to listen to those today and help me feel more accomplished but it didn't work. I'm not sure what the deal is. It's starting to weigh me down a lot. Maybe it's the constant change in seasons here in Utah? Yesterday it was in the 80's, today it's in the 40's and rainy. That's been happening a lot. 

After I stretched, we got ready and went to see Grandma Hunter who just had shoulder surgery. But first we went to the store to buy her flowers and some essentials, like bouncy balls. 
Brynlie kept walking around the store and holding her ball up to everyone she saw and would say "ball!" with a huge grin on her face. This lady was NOT impressed. I kind of wanted to push her. 
We had fun visiting with Papa and Grandma and then came home for lunch.

My mom babysat Allison again today. My Dad asked to hold her and I had to go downstairs and start crying after I snapped this photo. 
He sat there with her for probably about an hour while she slept in his arms. I started crying because I know my dad can't see her face. He can't see well enough to know what any of his grandkids look like, and that deeply upsets me. My dad has been through so much in his life. He has put up with a lot and still has a lot to deal with regarding his eyesight. But he has never rolled over and given up because of it. He has always worked harder and longer to make sure he matters; to make sure his kids matter and to provide for us. His sight is nearly gone now (that hasn't always been the case) and I find it so unfair and so cruel that he is robbed of the chance to enjoy watching his grandkids grow up. After all he's done, he deserves to see that. But, even though he can't, he still gets involved and enjoys them in any way he can. He still loves them and tries to let them know that. My girls know he's special and they are super protective of him. I'm so lucky to have a dad like him and have such a great example of what enduring to the end really looks like. He had better have mountains of rewards waiting for him in heaven, because no one I know deserves it more. I sure love that man. 

The rest of our day was incredibly boring. I spent hours on the couch visiting and watching it rain while the kids ran around and laughed and played with their bouncy balls. I'm more sore than I expected to be, so hopefully all that built in wind-resistance training is building plenty of muscle haha! Oh and also, this made me freak out a little bit. 

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