I may have mentioned this before, but every 3 months at my gym, we have what is called level testing. There are 6 different levels and once you pass level 6, you're considered a graduate and your monthly rate is cut in half. Level testing is not easy. 

Today I finally passed level 6!!! 
I was insanely nervous and totally psyched myself out but still managed to pass. Passing level 6 included:
(All these things consecutively, no breaks in between except the 1 minute our partner is passing off their exercise) 
- holding a squat for 5 minutes and 30 seconds 
- holding plank for 4 minutes 
- 45 push-ups in a minute
- 45 sit-ups in a minute 
- 20 burpees in a minute 
- running a mile in less than 9 minutes. 

I was the most nervous about the plank and sit-ups. The plank went better than expected, and the squat was hard but doable. I handled the run, push-ups, and burpees but barely passed the sit-ups. I really thought I wasn't going to make it and started cussing up a storm, unintentionally. I couldn't stop the words from coming! But, I barely made it. I came up on my last sit-up right as time ran out. When I've practiced at home I've done them with time to spare so I know my nerves got to me. 

I'm super happy I passed but I'm also very disappointed in how much I let myself down mentally. I thought I had developed a stronger mental endurance than that and it was kind of terrifying to see how much my doubts actually affected my performance. I feel like my confidence was rocked hard. It was very eye opening to the power of the mind, in a bad way. I've seen how a positive attitude can help this summer, and now I've experienced the negative and it feels awful. I shouldn't have let my fears seep in and control me like that. Has anyone else experienced this? I knew I was capable but just had doubts still. I've got a major pep talk to give myself before tomorrow. But, it's done. I'm a graduate. And that feels awesome! 

The best part of passing off testing was coming home though. I walked in and Brynlie ran up to me saying, "Momma! momma!" I've been trying to get her to say that for months now. Best. Moment. Ever. I even got a hug. 

Oh yeah, so tomorrow... Big day. Big race. 
This is the first race all year that I've had a time goal, so that ads some spice to things. I've got this though. And mostly I'm just so excited to FINALLY be back running this race. It's my favorite. 

Kennedy never stopped running the second we entered the expo and kept telling me, "Look, Mommy, I'm running!" It touched me and made me think of this: 
I'm getting all emotional while typing this because having my kids at the finish line motivates me to run faster because I miss them, but I never considered the example I was setting for them by having them watch me finish. This summer Kennedy has taken a great interest in running -- she has "running shoes", running shorts, and always wants to show me how fast she is when I've gone running -- so I know she's learning by example. I adore it. And I want my children to have examples in their life of hard work and dedication. They see it all the time with their daddy, but I want to contribute, too. 

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to show them how happy a PR makes Mommy. 

Well, wish me luck! My alarm is set for the awful hour of 3:45 a.m. and everything is laid out and ready to go. Bring it on! 

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