Last night Cory decided to go to bed early so I stayed up and watched So You Think You Can Dance episodes I've missed. I started with the Detroit auditions and one girl in particular seriously touched me
I know Detroit is extremely rough terrain. This girl and her friend were from the Bronx, NY. Many cities have bad neighborhoods where kids witness and experience things they never should see in a lifetime, much less go through it daily. Her story was a typical "ghetto" story; she's raising her younger siblings, worrying about paying their rent, kicked out of schools for fighting and drugs, etc.. As I sat and listened to her story, and saw many other hopeful dancers who had fought and worked their way to the show for a chance at a better life, I started sobbing.
I am one sheltered soul. I don't even realize how good we have it here. I thought of all the things that try me and make me feel depressed and inadequate. They are so incomparably stupid compared to the things these kids face. I got a dose of reality dished to me and everything was put into perspective. I am so lucky. I am so lucky that I have a stable family life, a home, steady income, good friends, I live in an area with low crime, gangs, and drugs. They exist, but they're not prominent. It doesn't seem fair. I could go on all day about this, but since watching her story, I've been counting my blessings in a different way and feeling insanely grateful for the life we have, instead of wondering if it's enough.
I'm taking the next 3 days off from the gym to make sure I'm nice and rested because I have another race on Saturday. I HATE taking breaks. I never know what to do with myself and I feel lazy and sluggish without a workout. But I know it'll pay off to make sure I'm going in to this race with fresh legs.
I've felt like a machine this year so far. I set big goals for myself physically for one reason: to prove to myself that my body was capable of anything. I'll never forget how awful I felt after having Brynlie and wondering if I would ever get to run again or do exercises that involved a lot of stability. I felt trapped; paralyzed. As things slowly started to heal I knew that I needed to work extra hard to get my body and my mind back into shape.
One goal was to run all my bucket list races in Utah. So far I've completed that, minus one in March that's held in Moab (4 hours away) that I wasn't able to do because of Cory's work schedule. But hopefully next spring will finally be the year I get to run it!
I'm running the Utah Valley Half Marathon. I've always thought that one would be fun, but it hasn't been a bucket list race. But the course is very similar to the Provo Halloween Half - the race that scarred me for life and started all the pregnancy pain - so I feel like I definitely have something to prove to this course. I'm really excited to knock it out, because I'm pretty sure I would have to try to get a worse time than I had for the Halloween race. Anyway, part of being ready is taking a small break, so I feel like my week is all messed up.
However not going to the gym has given me extra time to get stuff done on the basement. I'm trying to surprise Cory and get as much painted as I can so he doesn't have much left to do Friday. I feel like I'm making big progress. And saving him hours of work. But of course, because I've been busy, this has happened:
Lastly, I want to get real about this blog for a moment. I've had this blog since 2008. That's 7 years of blogging life. I originally started it as a journal and because I enjoy writing. That is still its primary purpose. Our lives are documented for all to read and see since we got engaged. One marriage, two kids, and whole lot in between later, we're still here. That is the goal.
That being said, I would also love for lots of people to follow our story and read what I have to say. That is not the goal, that would just be a super-duper perk. Who wouldn't love to make money off blogging? I realize I'm not cool. I have nothing special to offer anyone, my posts aren't uplifting or intriguing, I don't have the perfect words for every situation, I'm not hilarious, I'm not an amazing athlete, and in not even cool in real life. I'm just a plain Jane, average person. But if you find yourself liking what you read, wanting to say something in response to what I post, if you want more of one thing than another (it's hard to know what to talk about sometimes) then please let me know in the comments and give this blog a follow. I'm not stupid enough to think I'll ever be the "next big thing" or go viral or anything at all close to that, I just like sharing things with people.
So there you have it. You can all go make fun of me now ;)