We had a typical morning to start our Monday: breakfast, gym, grocery shopping, then lunch. I had a pretty intense list of "wifey" things to get done like cleaning, laundry, and meal prepping. It all came together faster than I expected so I took a small break and we painted our nails while Brynlie had her morning nap.
Why the crap do my girls like Thomas so much? I loath that show, with every fiber of my soul. But seeing their heads side by side watching TV is kind of cute.
Today I actually had a full blow panic attack. It's been a while since I've had one of those. After I finished my to-do list, I went to the basement to commence work on it. We are so freaking close to having it done. So. Dang. Close. But then we still have a pretty hefty list of crap to do to get the house listed. I started tallying all those things in my head-- and they're all pretty labor intensive, and the panic attack settled in. I laid on the floor and cried and tried to breathe deeply because I couldn't get air in. I'm no stranger to panic attacks so I know how to handle them, but they're still scary.
I just got totally overwhelmed. We still have so much to do and at the same time, are so close. But the amount of physical work left is going to take even longer doing it on our own, and we haven't had much help in this process. Some, but not much. I feel like I should be doing as much as I can on the days Cory is working while Brynlie is napping. I try, but with two little kids to watch and take care of it's so hard! Not to mention someone still has to keep our house clean, the laundry washed, the food made, the lawn mowed, the grocery shopping done, etc., on top of all the organizing, packing, moving, and storing we have ahead. All the stress just overwhelmed me and I lost it. I don't know how we're going to get through the next few weeks. And then I start panicking our house won't sell or we won't find what we're looking for in our next house... It's a vicious cycle. I am one stressed out woman. I'm not doing a very good job of letting the Lord handle things, am I?
Hopefully with the little time I do have, I can keep chipping away at the work and still have a chance to play and let the kids have a fun summer. I feel like they're prisoners in our home. Im ready for this to all be done so we can resume life as normal. It's been hard on our marriage, hard on the kids, and hard on Cory and I separately. But we know it'll be worth it in the end. In fact when this whole selling ordeal is over, I think first on our list is saving for a vacation. A real, full-blown vacation. I can't wait.
Tonight I leave you with a couple pictures I discovered on my phone after Kennedy played with it. I'm sure these won't be funny to anyone else but family but I don't care.