Day 29 - It Gets Real

Last night I spent a good chunk of my night planning out every detail of my training for the month of July. I planned types of runs, days I go to the gym, and days I lift, even down to the muscle groups. I planned on tackling August and September but Cory made me stop and pay attention to him. I don't understand it. 
I was so pumped!! I felt like I needed to throw a kick-off celebration, but instead I just went to bed, excited to start the schedule. Yep, I'm a party animal. 

However, my morning did not go as planned. Cory and I awoke at 6 am and I instantly felt sick to my stomach and so drained of energy. I tried to do my easy 4 miles on the treadmill but a half mile in I just knew it wasn't happening. I started to beat myself up over it then remembered that I'm still sick, I hadn't eaten anything, and it was just one of those mornings. I went upstairs to rest and see if breakfast would help. It eventually did and after some caffeine I felt like I might be ready to try the gym. 

I pulled up and started getting the kids out of the car and there were some girls outside doing the running portion of the workout. They warned me not to go inside because the AC was "broken". 

"It can't be that bad," I thought to myself as I towed the kids inside. 

Um, it was that bad. 91 degrees that bad. 
Hands down one of the toughest workouts, mentally, that I've done in a long time. It was sweaty, miserable, nauseating, and I just wanted to stop. But I didn't. I think being too sick to run was a blessing because I don't think I could have ran and lived through that workout. Boy howdy it was nasty! I'm hoping everything is back to normal tomorrow. Our trainer was in too good of a mood for it to be believable that it really broke. I'm convinced he shut it off to teach us all a lesson in what heat really is, because everyone has been whining about the heat outside lately. I for one, never will again. He has instilled fear in me. 

I usually hit the grocery store after the gym on Mondays but I was in no condition to be out in public that slimy and smelly. So we headed home and helped Cory lay the gravel for our RV parking pad, in the heat. 
Kennedy ran and found her shovel and worked right beside us until the very end. She would stop and tell us she was tired and needed some water and would sip a good chunk out of our mugs, then get right back at it. She definitely inherited a good work ethic from both her parents. She loves to help! And usually, I appreciate every second of it. 
But I don't know where her love for taking pictures came from. 
But doesn't it look so nice?? I wish I had a before picture. It was nothing but weeds and spiders. 

Once it was all laid out, we were pretty spent. And by spent I mean bordering on heat stroke (it was over 100 degrees today) and having the shakes from being so hungry. After some quick showers we treated ourselves to some lunch. 

And lunch-dessert 
We also squeezed in our grocery shopping and then we were ready to retreat back to our air conditioned house. 

I went to bed crying last night because I've really felt like I'm failing as a parent lately. There's so much our kids don't know that they should. There's so many things they still have to learn. I got overwhelmed and felt like I've dropped the ball on teaching our children important things, particularly gospel related things. I felt like we grew so close as a family before we moved back home a year ago, and then things just kind of fell apart. We got busy, we never got time together because of always having to work on the basement, and our testimonies and gospel dedication suffered, as well as our relationships. 

It's a major priority of mine now to fix that. We fell into a rut and I need to get us out. So, tonight, I attempted to have a family home evening lesson with Kennedy. I have no idea how much she knows about Jesus, if anything. She won't tell me if I ask, she just starts saying her prayers. So we talked briefly about him, but I could tell she just wasn't getting it. I asked if she knew where Jesus lived and she told me at the church...

We have some work to do. 

I got on gospel library and found the movie Finding Faith in Christ. She saw clips of how Jesus was born, the miracles He preformed, and how He was crucified and resurrected. It was a little long for her, but she was glued to it for most of the movie and deeply saddened that He died. We discussed everything we saw until she looked at me bored and told me she had to "go away for a second." 

Afterward she started noticing Jesus around our house in paintings and sculptures and wanted to touch Him. I got a little emotional watching her discover Him and start the first seeds of growing a relationship with Him. For once I felt like I was doing something right. 

The language barrier in parenting her has been insanely difficult and there's so much that I still have zero idea if she knows or not. She won't sing me songs. She won't tell me the ABC's. Never has. She won't count past 5 for me. She won't tell me what happened at church, school, with friends, at Grandma's, etc. It kills me a little inside each time it happens, but I try to have faith that one day, she will. One day this will all be behind us. She is such a strong-willed child. But, regardless of whether she will recite anything back, it's still my job to teach her the things she needs to know. So I'm trying. And a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus is so, so important. It's my new goal to have regular family home evening because we are the worst at it. 

Poor Brynlie didn't want to watch the movie and felt left out, so afterward, we had some puzzle time and chased each other and tickled each other and laughed. Oh man I love my kids! 
This week is the home stretch to get everything done on the house so we can list it next week. Only one more week of this torture, people! Yay!! I hope all these months of hard work and sacrifice pay off. I'm excited to get this plan in action and see where life takes us. 

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