Here We Go

Well it finally happened. I did something yesterday that I told myself I wasn't going to do for a long time.

There I was, minding my own business when I happened upon a scale. No one was around and it stood ready, flashing the little 00.0, as if saying, "Come on, just stand on me. It'll only take a second. You know you want to know what secret number I can unlock for you."

I caved to the silent tempting, kicked off my flip flops, stepped on the scale, and braced myself for impact.

It wasn't good. And I didn't swear. Bonus points for me.

I'm not stupid though. I knew it wouldn't be a fun number to have revealed to me which is why I had promised myself not to do it for a while. Yep, I've gained a lot of weight. What do you expect from a pregnancy that basically made it impossible to move around, much less exercise?

But I got one heck of a cute baby out of it so absolutely every extra pound was worth it. And although I hate not having anything to wear but sweats and oversized t-shirts, I'm not being hard on myself. It'll come off eventually.


There's the word that worries me. I am 100% prepared and excited to put in the effort it'll take to lose all this extra weight. I know it'll take some time. That isn't what I'm worried about.

I'm worried about history repeating itself. I'm worried I'll have the same struggles and issues losing any weight that I did after Kennedy. I ran myself into the ground and wasn't able to lose a single pound because my body wasn't functioning right.

And I'm worried it still isn't.

But this time, I don't want to let a doctor guess That I have thyroid issues and throw medication at me. I want to find the real problem. Which will take some time.

My game plan is to start exercising again, work my butt off for a month and see what happens on the scale. I'm choosing a birth control method that is free of hormones in hopes of eliminating any other factors that could be messing me up. If there is no change, I'll head back to the endocrinologist and see what we can figure out. If there is, I'll go another month and see what happens.

I was able to return to my beloved gym Monday night. I definitely have a lot of hard work ahead of me but it was awesome to get back into the swing of things even if I've been too sore to lift Brynlie in her car seat since. It feels awesome to have sore arms again. And my ligaments didn't bother me. But I'm also not running for a few more weeks at least.

Anyway, here we go again. I'm back in the battle of the bulge. It's a war I plan on winning.


Wish me luck.


One Month

Our babe is a month old already!!

She has been a challenge, that's for sure. But we still love her and her sweet side is starting to come through a little more.

It turns out the monthly update blogs I did with Kennedy were really helpful so I'll just jot down some things that are happening right now.

-She has been an incredibly fussy baby. Ever since about 2 weeks she's been crying and acting like she's in pain when she's awake. I finally took her to the doctor yesterday and he suspects she might have acid reflux. So we're going to try some medicine and see if that helps her. If not the next step will be to try soy formula.

-She's been more awake the last few days and has even given us some smiles. It's adorable.

-Eating about 3 to 4 oz every 3 hours.

-Sleeping pretty well at night. Last night she went 8 hours before waking up to eat the first time. I'm not banking on that lasting just yet but we will see.

-Hates being on her back or not being held basically. The swing offers me some relief but she's definitely a cuddler. She also sleeps on her side.

-Starting to outgrow her newborn clothes. They still fit but today I put on her first 3 month size outfit and I died a little inside.

-Sleeps swaddled.

-Has the best big sister to take care of her. Seriously.

We really do love her. She has the cutest little face in the world. And she just gets prettier every day. We're going to have to lock up our daughters when they get older.

Brynlie's Blessing

We were able to bless Brynlie last Sunday. It was a beautiful day and we were so grateful for the family that was able to attend. I'm so grateful for Cory and his worthiness to hold and exercise his priesthood. I'm grateful to be part of a church that I know is true and brings me so much happiness. I love my girls more than anything and the knowledge that I get to be with my family forever. I am one very blessed woman.


Quick Update

1. We're all moved back home!

2. Our house is a disaster and probably will be for a while. We have so many boxes to go through.

3. A huge, heartfelt thank you to those who helped move us. We couldn't have done it without you.

4. Kennedy is still super adorable. She's taking on this big sister thing like a champ and loves her sister.

5. Brynlie is still Adorable but such a hard baby. I don't think she's colicky, unless there's such thing as a mild form of it (is there?) because she doesn't scream for hours, but she is always fussy when she's awake and does scream a lot. I'm praying for this to end soon before I go insane.

6. We're at the stage where it feels like we'll never have a normal life again. Bedtime is 9, wake up at 7 and do nothing but take care of kids all day. It'll get better, I know from experience. But this stage kinda sucks.

7. Brynlie will be a month old this week. Holy crap. She's getting big. And chunky.

8. Cory is amazing. I don't ever want to know where I would be without that man. He is one of a kind.

9. I cried when my mom left yesterday because I already missed her. And she cried when she got home, too. We're completely ridiculous because I live 5 minutes away.

10. It feels good to be home. The first thing I did was take a hot bath.

Happy fathers day!


Final Thoughts

I've had so many thoughts I've wanted to share regarding our decision to move. I've had a few people ask me if it's been worth it and how we've felt about it, so I'll share what we've seen and felt throughout this adventure since it is drawing to a close.

I have no doubt that the Lord has complete and utter understanding of every single one of our needs. It has been amazing to me to watch the blessings that have come from this and the unforeseen problems that weren't as awful as they could have been because we were guided in this direction. It's been so humbling and has helped me learn to trust Heavenly Father more and His plan for each one of us. It's incredible how everything came together and I've felt how much Heavenly Father loves me and my family.

First, I know our renters were an answer to our prayers. We weren't sure what to do when we had such bad luck finding people in the beginning and then suddenly they appeared and we just knew they were the right choice. We hardly know them but they just radiate goodness and our ward is crazy about them. I've felt complete confidence leaving things in their hands and it really helped me feel calm about the whole situation. They have been a huge blessing.

Second, I can't even come up with the right words to express how grateful I am for my mom and the help she's been. Not only did my parents open their home to us and allow us to completely take over their TV, but she really helped me through the pregnancy and my mess of a self as I've tried to adapt to two kids. Physically she has helped with Kennedy when I've been too sore or exhausted to care anymore. I hate to think where Kennedy would be right now without the extra attention and love she's received because I just haven't been the best mom lately. We couldn't have predicted how difficult this whole pregnancy was going to be and if we were on our own I would probably have been committed. She's also helped me mentally when I've been bored to tears (literally) and she has come home and offered me some company and adult conversation and stepped right in and has helped with the kids. I've felt like a shut in and she's brought some sanity to this crazy part of life. And a lot of the time She feeds me, too. How great is that? I'm really going to miss her.

This has been 100% worth it on the financial spectrum and we made some serious progress. I feel like I've shared too much of our personal finances in the past and it's really no one's business, but I didn't want people thinking we don't live within our means. But, regardless of my honest description of how things are in our family people have formed their own opinions and conclusions anyway. So I'll let people think what they want since they will anyway and just say it's been successful, which was the reason for this whole thing in the first place. Things are not settled at the mine and it's still a roller coaster ride (and will be for a while) but we are more prepared for whatever lies ahead and have learned valuable lessons about what's important, how to sacrifice, and trusting Heavenly Father.

We've learned that life is unpredictable and it's important to be prepared and it's important to follow the promptings of the spirit to guide us on the best road. We've had unforeseen things happen that could have been disastrous if we hadn't have made this choice. They were still setbacks, but they were minor compared to how they could have been. I've been grateful for this decision and opportunity every single day.

We don't know what life has in store for our long term future. As Kennecott continues to struggle to recover from the landslide, anything is possible. We could be just fine or Cory could be laid off, or anything in between. I feel like this experience has helped us learn to roll with the punches and prepare for the worst case scenario but have faith for the best. We love our home, but we know it's just a thing and it's not what makes us happy or good people. We've grown closer as a couple and a family. And for the record, living with my parents really wasn't bad. In fact, I'm going to miss them. I know Kennedy sure is going to, too.

I'm grateful for the Lord's plan for us and His guidance in the lives of my family. I'm thankful He knows best and takes care of us and that His love is always there, whether we deserve it or not. Although it's been crazy the last year, I'm grateful for Cory's job and that for the time being he still has that job. I will be eternally grateful for his willingness to work so hard to provide for us. He truly is an amazing and good man, through and through. I don't deserve him some days.

We're excited to be back home and have been blessed to have this time in our lives. I feel like we're moving home closer, wiser, and obviously with one more family member. So to answer the question, yes, it's been worth every moment.


Newborn Photos

I promise once I get used to taking care of two kids I will blog more. It's been kind of hard to find the uninterrupted time to sit down and get stuff taken care of. Life has been a little crazy lately. But on a good note, I've been out having fun and we get to move back home next weekend!!!! Yay!!

I wanted to get Brynlie's newborn photos posted because they are just adorable. Some I'm not crazy about, but the good ones are enough to make your heart stop. So enjoy.