At my doctors appointment a month ago I explained the pain I've been having in my lower pelvic region to my doctor. He said it sounded like my ligaments were torn. That didn't sound good but I didn't really know what that entailed.

Well, I've done my research now and it was disheartening. But let me back up and explain what's been going on.

My pelvic floor muscles and lower pelvic area are in constant pain. The intensity of the pain varies but it is always there. I've also felt my hips popping and clicking in and out of joint. The popping I usually feel in my lower back and it really does feel like my hips just popped into socket all the sudden.

I hurt doing pretty much everything. Its by far the worst at night when I have to roll over or get up to use the restroom. Standing on one leg hurts, putting shoes and socks on hurts, Standing too long, walking too long, carrying things, going up and down the stairs, cleaning, vacuuming, etc. Basically being a human hurts. It's uncomfortable and there but it gets worse throughout the day as I do more activities and strain myself more. I'm pretty much spent each night and get upset and cry that this is so hard. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself when I was pregnant with Kennedy that I had it easier then and to shut the heck up with the complaining.

Anyway, after doing research, the technical term that I've self diagnosed myself with is symphysis pubis dysfunction which causes pelvic girdle pain. The two terms are often used interchangeably. Basically, the ligaments That are supposed to be strong and support my separated joints during pregnancy have been injured and aren't doing their job. So any time my pelvis is out of line, it hurts. Which is a lot. I know without a doubt they were damaged while running in the first trimester. I wish I knew how, though.

There is no relief from this until after I deliver the baby. It can complicate delivery which scares me, But I'm praying that doesn't happen. Depending on the severity, some cases don't go away after pregnancy and the person is left with this problem forever. I'm praying that's not me either. Tylenol offers no relief because it's not an anti inflammatory and pregnant women can't take those.

In order to help myself and avoid making the problem worse, I'm supposed to avoid anything that makes it hurt. So I'm supposed to lay down and die, basically: ). I was so proud of myself for doing yoga the other day and reigniting the flame of exercise excitement but that night and the next day my pain was really bad. Like, woke me up at night bad. According to the articles I read, any stretching (so, yoga) bending, lifting, walking, or anything that puts strain on the pelvis shouldn't be done. That rules out every single form of exercise. I'm still determined to try swimming though since being in the water makes me weightless. I'm testing this theory on Monday. You know I'm getting desperate if I'm willing to be seen in a swimsuit in this state. Ha ha

Obviously there's so much I can't avoid. Someone still has to cook and clean and I have a toddler so I can't just sit around the next couple months. I do try and take it easy because I don't want to worsen the condition  or cause a longer recovery post baby. I definitely plan on steering clear of running or vigorous exercise until I know it's healed so I won't have any issues after the baby also.

This condition is really hard to cope with since there is constant pain. It causes anxiety, irritability and depression during pregnancy, which has described me lately, and I am 3x's more likely to suffer from post partum depression after baby. Since I already had it so bad with Kennedy that really scares me. I plan on discussing this in depth with my doctor at my next appointment to determine a course of action for delivery and after the baby.

This pregnancy has already been so challenging that I almost expect it to just get worse and worse. I've been exhausted, I've gained an excessive amount of weight regardless of my efforts, which I blame on the issue I had before pregnancy that I wasn't able to fix, I'm always in pain, and now I've already started to have Braxton hicks. Some have been kind of intense. But, I'm trying to stay positive. I have every hope in the world that this baby gets to come early. I'm not sure how much more my poor body can handle. We will see though. At least I'm able to have a baby, right? Although this doesn't at all make me want to have a 3rd child. Maybe I'll forget how terrible this has been.

So that's the low down on why I am struggling so badly this time around. It's been frustrating when I've tried so hard to have a better pregnancy this time and it's been so much worse. Maybe next time (if there is a next time) I'll shoot for letting myself go and being miserable so maybe that one will be better. Reverse psychology, right? ;)

No comments: