Slight Depression

I've been horrible at keeping up on the blog. 

For one, we're not doing anything terribly exciting with our lives these days. We've tried hard to conserve money and pay off as many student loans as we can before we move home so that has limited our fun. And the weather sucks.

But I've been in a funk lately which I kind of blame my absence on as well as my lack of creativity. I haven't felt as happy these last few months as normal and there's legitimate reason why, which I will touch base on later. But first I'll update what's going on in a nutshell.

First off, we have loved our renters. They are wonderful! They were certainly a blessing sent to us. Before we moved I was so nervous about our home and told Cory I was going to go spy on it a lot. I haven't felt the need to do that at all. I know Its in good hands. We ran into them at Kangaroo Zoo the other day and they told us they're building a home in our area that should be done in June. We didn't care too much how long it took them to find a place because more time meant more loans being knocked out. But we have missed being on our own fiercely and with a new baby coming, I feel like that time line is perfect. So that is good news and will hopefully answer the constantly asked question of when we're moving back.

Cory is amazing, as always. He is working hard and finally, finally is off night rotations. There was a mix up where we thought that wasn't going to happen anymore, so January was the usual 2 weeks of days, 2 weeks of nights, but according to the men in charge Wednesday night was his last for a while. Yay!! It's such a huge blessing.

Kennedy is loving gymnastics. She's incredibly coordinated and one of the oldest in her class so she's excelling at the mom and toddler motor skills class. She gets so excited to go play on the toys though that she doesn't like to listen to instructions at the beginning of class, but once she gets used to that she will be ready for the toddler class where she can go on her own, I think anyway. I hope to keep her in the class at least until May. Going after the baby won't work too well and then it will be summer and we may want to switch to swim lessons. But we shall see. We're taking her to her first U of U gymnastics meet in two weeks and I am really excited. I think she's going to love it. And the tickets were free. Can't beat that, right?

She's also become obsessed with babies which I hope is a good thing. Anything small is a baby and she's always trying to find the mommies and daddies of things too. For example, we were at Sally Beauty Supply the other day and she kept getting so excited over the different sizes of bottles of developer. She would pick up the biggest and say, "Mommy, this is the daddy!" Then pick of the next smallest and exclaim that it was the mommy, and the smallest was the baby, which she was the most excited about. Its cute.

Life hasn't been all sunshine and happiness with her though. She's had major issues sleeping the last 2 months and it is really taking a toll on me. She wakes up a lot during the night crying for various reasons and either won't stop without us going to soothe her or she comes in our room and wakes us up. It's been really challenging because I've needed my sleep desperately and I'm just not getting it. Between her and peeing every couple hours, I can't remember the last time I slept longer than 3 consecutive hours. The only good thing to come out of this was one night when she wouldn't go to bed and was crying she asked to sleep in the twin bed in her room. We had been putting off transitioning her to one because she has always loved her crib and we figured it would be a struggle. But we of course said yes and she's slept in it since. And with slightly less wake ups, too. That was easy! Hopefully we can get her back to being a good sleeper again. She's never had issues this long before. But it definitely can't continue with her and a newborn. I'll die.

She's also been talking like crazy lately which has made us so happy. She's shy and doesn't say much when there's a group, and there's still plenty we just don't understand, but the flood gates are starting to open. She's also surprised us by pointing out letters randomly that we had no idea she knew. It's adorable. She really has been retaining everything and now it's starting to flow out. We love her so much!!

Alright, so me....

Not to downplay the miracle side of what's going on inside my body right now or the fact that I am excited to have a sweet little baby at the end of this, but I truly, madly, deeply, HATE being pregnant. This one particularly has been really hard on my body for some reason which has made enduring it that much more difficult. I have been extremely achy and have had lots of unusual pains that just won't go away. Exercising makes it worse so I've had to miss out on just about everything I love doing, which has contributed big time to the unhappiness. I don't at all feel like myself and I hate being restricted and limited in my abilities. But I want a healthy baby, too, so I've tried to tell myself it's for the best, even though I'm dying inside.

I've also been slammed with crazy exhaustion again, and not getting much sleep each night has not helped. To top it all off, I'm sick for the second time in 10 day's and really struggling. I feel like if I could just get one full night of rest I would feel like a new person but that's not possible without a catheter. Haha. I know none of this will last forever so I'm really, really trying not to complain too much or act like my world is coming to an end but some nights it really feels like it is in those moments when I've just dozed off and Kennedy comes running in crying.

So with being pregnant, not being able to do the things I love, not getting sleep, and it being winter and blah, I've been slightly depressed, which isn't fun to blog about. But I will try to do better if I can.

That's about it right now. Nothing earth shattering and nothing exciting.

Oh, baby girl is healthy so far and very active. She also won't ever have a name. Why the crap do girls names have to be so dang hard?! Ugh!! We're seriously struggling.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I just found your blog today through HRG, and really enjoyed reading your posts! Keep up the great writing!
On a side note, I think I would go mad (and get SUPER depressed) if I was dealing with all that you are and couldn't really exercise, hang in there!