This has been such a crappy winter. I would rather get more snow every week since we really need it than put up with this horrible, horrible air quality. Plus sickness has been in full force this season. As a result, we've hunkered down and have become hermits. I finally decided enough was enough though and talked to Cory about maybe putting Kennedy in some kind of lessons so we can get out of the house and have something to look forward to.

Given her dare devil, crazy squirrel personality we figured gymnastics would be the perfect fit. Today was her First day, a free trial class to make sure she would like it before we settled on it. Holy crap!! She LOVED it!!! She got to climb, jump, swing, do somersaults, crawl under things, ride scooter boards, jump in the foam pit, play musical instruments, stretch out, and just have a total blast. Classes start the First week in February. We're really excited.

I took way too many photos, but I want to remember this day when she gets a scholarship for gymnastics haha jk.


I Really Needed That

It's no secret that nothing else can scare me right now more than the thought of having two kids. Spiders? nah. Apocalypse? Bring it! E.T.? He's a close second. I am utterly and legitimately terrified.

As I've stated probably a million times before, motherhood did not come easily for me. It still doesn't. I repeatedly feel like a terrible mother, break down, get discouraged, and feel like if we all make it out of this alive then it will be a miracle. I feel like I lose my mind too much as it is now, how am I going to survive when that work load is doubled?? 

I know some things will be easier the second time and some things will be harder. But as with every challenge motherhood brings, it will be absolutely worth it. I hadn't felt that with this baby at all until yesterday...

Church had just gotten out and I exited the relief society room and headed down the hall to find Cory and Kennedy. I didn't have to walk long. I heard Cory's voice say, "There she is!" Suddenly appearing out of the mass of people in the hall, Kennedy emerged and ran at me with her arms wide for a hug and excitedly screaming, "Mommy!"

I crouched down ready to receive the impact of her sweet little embrace and noticed she had caught the attention of just about everyone in the hallway, who watched us with that isn't-that-so-precious, look.

I picked her up and hugged her tight as she told me about nursery in her gibberish that I can barely understand and felt so happy in That moment I got emotional. She's done this before, but in that moment I felt her intense love for me, her need for me to keep her safe, and the pure happiness and joy that can come from motherhood. Every difficult moment, every breakdown, every prayer uttered for strength to not screw her up has been worth it. I'm not doing that terrible of a job if she loves her mommy that much.

And then it hit me: if I'm this happy in this small little moment at church, imagine how much happier I'm going to be with two kids to share these moments with! It was the first time I had been excited about having another one since we felt it was time to try. I've been dreading the baby stage, the ridiculously named "baby blues", the sleepless nights, and the crying. But I never got past the fact that none of that lasts forever, and I might even enjoy it this time around since I'm experienced.

I felt it was a tender mercy from Heavenly Father showing me how great my reward will be for getting through the hard times. There's just as many good ones to look forward to. It's time to start focusing on those so I don't keep hyperventilating over having another baby.

I'm excited to hold our little baby girl and relish in my love for her. I'm excited to watch Kennedy learn to love her. I'm excited to see Cory's heart grow as he surrounds himself with his girls. I'm excited to be a family.


Hello, 2014

2013 was an interesting year for us.

It wasn't without its challenges and tough times.

We faced challenges financially, not knowing if Cory would be affected by the layoffs of Kennecott, and figuring out how to survive with almost half his normal salary. We made big sacrifices in order to make ourselves more financially secure and guarantee a good life for our children.

I faced some physical challenges with my health and a very difficult first trimester of pregnancy.

We pushed forward with faith in deciding to have another baby, not knowing what our future would hold. It was scary.

But looking back now, it all seems so perfect. Every challenge we've faced this past year, along with all the good times we had, because there were many, have helped us grow closer and stronger with each other, our families, and our Heavenly Father. The Lord's plan is amazing. We never saw the positive outcomes of such trials while they were happening. We've learned so much and even though we're not where we ideally wanted to be, we know without a doubt we are where we should be and we feel more secure and happier than we have all year.

And more importantly, we can look forward to the future with optimism. 2014 will have so much to offer for us. We get to welcome another baby girl into our family and become a family of 4. We'll be able to move back home being much more financially free and secure with a renewed sense of what's really important in life. I'll hopefully be able to get my body working correctly after the baby and finally feel normal and like a human being should feel. We are excited for what the new year will hold.

It's funny how the change of one day, from December 31st to January 1st can make everything seem so near. Suddenly it's 2014 and this is the year of excitement and good things to come. So welcome, new year, we're excited and ready to see what you'll bring and teach us.

And thanks for the memories of 2013.