It's A.....

Before getting pregnant with Kennedy I had a very emotional dream about a sweet baby boy.

Before and during this pregnancy, that dream has returned.

I have been much sicker and carrying so differently this time I wondered if we were having a boy. Actually, I thought I had a feeling it was a boy.

While getting nursery ideas on Amazon, I somehow accidentally ordered some decorations for a boys nursery that shipped in record time. Oops.

At our 13 week doctor appointment he told us he thought it was a boy but couldn't guarantee it since it was still early. The nurse said she's only seen him be wrong twice. That seemed pretty certain.

We had another appointment just before Christmas to determine gender and were anxiously awaiting the confirmation of a miniature Cory in male form.

It didn't come.

This baby is a girl. And now the nurse has seen him guess wrong 3 times.

We were shocked and really disappointed at first. I feel really guilty about how we reacted actually. I always said I was fine either way, But we had everything planned for a boy; name, nursery, quilts, etc. So we felt like we were back at square one with planning everything.

Obviously we're ok with it now. Kennedy will have a sister and having two little girls with their daddy wrapped around their fingers gets me really excited. Although now we have to worry about this one having hair again.

And maybe this one will actually act like a girl. Only time will tell.



I have hesitated writing about this post for a long time now. Most of the reasons are personal, but in general, I feel like we live in a very competitive parenting community and admitting your child isn't perfect can be difficult.

Kennedy is a brilliant, energetic, and brave little girl. She has blessed our lives in so many ways. But she definitely marches to the beat of her own drum and has to do things her way, when shes ready.

Take talking for example. She's difficult to understand. 99% of other children will be interacting with their parents and their mom or dad will ask them to repeat a word like truck, shoe, door, etc. And usually, the child follows suit. Kennedy DOES NOT DO THIS. In fact, the more we ask her to say something, the more she refuses and we won't hear the word again for months. She cannot be told what to say. The only time we have been able to get her to repeat anything is when she is really, really tired and not really with it anyway. It's taken time for us to learn that if she says something, we can't make a big deal about it because then she won't do it again. It's frustrating.

Also, ever since her first birthday, she has preferred jibberish to any form of understandable language. For a year and a half now I've waited for that jibberish to make sense and it still doesn't entirely. I can catch words I recognize here or there and she does spout sentences that make sense, like this morning she couldn't find her gingerbread house and said, "Uh oh, where'd the house go?" but there's still a lot of her speech we don't understand. Also, she doesn't like to finish her words. Cup is "Kuh", House is "how", down is "dow", etc. Usually this is a sign of a hearing issue, but she definitely doesn't have a problem hearing things, as far as we can tell. And we can't correct her or she gets upset. So we've resorted to just repeating what she asks for. "Ok, I'll get your cuppppppp" with an emphasis on the missed consonant. We're confident these issues will work themselves out, but it has significantly delayed her speech. I was really, really worried about it a few months ago, but since then have come to terms with it and have just been consistent with helping her say the words right. That and she has made enormous progress lately. She doesn't have any comprehension problems. She understands us perfectly. It's just letting her go at her own pace.

Another point of irritation, and this one really doesn't have a right to be since she's not even remotely "behind" on this topic, but I keep getting asked about it, is potty training. Nope, we're not potty training and I don't foresee it happening in the near future. I had hoped that she would be potty trained before the baby came, and I guess there is still time, but we shall see. I don't want to force her. She doesn't seem to care much about it. She used to come and tell us when she was poopy but that stopped when we started getting excited about it. She does love to sit on the potty, even though nothing ever happens, so when she asks we let her if it's a convenient time. I keep waiting for the day when she actually pees or poops and then we can show her that's what it's for. But she doesn't care about it right now. Cory has been so cute with her. He would kill me if he knew I was posting this, but sometimes when he's about to go to the bathroom, he will kneel down and talk to her in that cute daddy voice and explain that he is about to go poopy on the potty LOL. It's hilarious and awesome at the same time. Again, someday she will get it. She's just so dang stubborn.

Lastly, I'm glad I don't have a super girlie-girl, but I am a little sad that Kennedy does almost nothing that resembles a girls behavior. She's obsessed with cars and trains. She also loves animals, dogs and horses mostly. She freaks out at any train movie and every semi-truck we see is a choo-choo. Now that we're at my parents house she has access to Barbie's and ponies but the only time she ever touches them is when they're in the way of her cars or trains. Her favorite movies are The Polar Express, Chuggington, Madagascar, Ice age, and Tangled. Yes, Tangled is a girl movie and I about came out of my skin when she asked to watch it again, but she brought me the DVD and asked to watch the horsie movie. So the only thing she likes is the horse. Brilliant. I'll take what I can get I guess. She has no interest in choosing what to wear or getting herself dressed. She does say things are cute at the store sometimes but I think she just copies me. I bought her a Rapunzel bath robe thinking she would like it and she FREAKED OUT and started screaming and trying to pull it off.... I'm not sure what to do with her.

She prefers jumping off of high furniture, climbing anything she can (this one secretly makes me proud), being pushed fast in shopping carts, being thrown around by daddy, and playing outside and getting dirty over anything else. She's a thrill seeker and a very energetic little girl. She doesn't care about dolls or being like mommy. She does have a very nurturing side though and is showing more interest in babies. She will wrap her stuffed dogs up in blankets and call them her baby, even though she has dolls she can do that with. But whatever. And she's very tender and gentle with them and gives them sweet kisses and rocks them in her arms. Let's hope she's the same with her little sibling. But overall, she's basically a boy. She even gets proud of herself when she farts loud. I mean, come on!

So that's an explanation about Kennedy in a nut shell. She's independent, stubborn as an ox, and has to do things at her own speed. She's not stupid by any means. She CAN say plenty of words, is capable of understanding what going on the potty is, but she just doesn't care. It has to be her idea. So we're taking things at a Kennedy pace for now. We love her so much and each child comes with their own set of challenges, and I know she will have many more. But I wanted to document and maybe explain for some of you who may be wondering what is up with her right now. That's our little nut-case in a nut-shell. I'll be sure and update when she decides she wants to act like a normal toddler. Or like a girl.


Happenings and Idaho

I have sat down to update the blog so many times and then never finish. I apologize. Life has been a tad busy, in my defense, but not really so busy that I can't take some time out from playing solitair to post something. So here it goes.

Life is going well for us. We've been keeping busy and adjusting to our new surroundings. I'm super excited for Christmas! I have no particular reason either, I just am. I've been able to get back into the gym recently and that has been interesting to say the least. Exercising while pregnant is a whole different ball game. I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to participate in the workouts at my gym, so I'm contemplating a basic membership at the new Planet Fitness that just opened up here. It's only $10 a month and then I can use the elliptical or the bike instead of trying to do burpees and pull ups with a huge pregnant belly. And let me tell you, I do feel huge. I already look 6 or 7 months along and I'm only 4. I'm totally freaked out about it. And about the size of my behind... But whatever. Baby making sucks all around. Anyway, it's been nice to feel human and active again. I also cut and colored my hair a couple weeks ago:
Yes, that is a ridiculous picture but I don't do the selfie thing. At all. I actually kind of think they're ridiculous 99.9% of the time. But I had a couple requests to see the new do. So there you go. It's a little shorter than I like but I'm still in love with it. It's nice to feel pretty again instead of like raggedy Anne.

Cory got some spectacular news this past week. Starting in January he will no longer have to rotate to night shifts!!! He has been rotating two weeks days, two weeks nights, like everyone who works there, but for some political reason I don't quite get, they're putting the welders on straight days. This is joyous news, especially with a new baby coming in 5 months. I feel very blessed right now. He was on days in the parts department when we had Kennedy so I was terrified to have a newborn alone at nights and deal with it. But now I won't have to. Yay!!!! He hated nights anyway and so did I so we will take this as long as it's offered.

Kennedy has entered a new and terrifying stage of the terrible twos. She's trying to determine independence and power so just about everything we do or say is a fight which is argued by a loud and piercing "NO!!" by her. It's been really difficult but we're hanging in there the best we can. She's also been really cute off and on and has done some really hilarious things. She still has no interest in potty training, trying to say her words right or repeat anything we ask her to, or in any girl things. More on that later. But we still love her and she makes us happy.

This week we went to go check out Trader Joe's for the first time. We didn't get it. I guess you have to know what you're looking for? We did walk out with a gingerbread house kit so we put that together Friday night. Kennedy ate the candy faster than we could put it on but we all had a good time:

Kennedy had her hard hat on during the construction

And lastly we headed to Idaho this past weekend for the missionary farewell of one of Cory's cousins. We had fun with family and getting out of the inversion for a couple days and seeing the sun again:

It was also above 30 degrees on Sunday so we didn't even need our coats. It was lovely. Kennedy fell asleep on the way home holding Cory's shirt up to block the sun from being in her face, it was hilarious.
So that's what life has been like lately. We don't have any amazing holiday plans but we do plan on being together and having a good time. And trying not to get too fat :)


Perfect Love

I'm not perfect.

I do stupid things. I say stupid things. I make mistakes.

But I know there is one thing I can do perfectly and that's love my daughter with all my heart and soul unconditionally.

Tonight I felt overwhelmed and blown away yet again by how much that little squirt means to me and how much I love her and need her. She is my entire world and losing her would crush me.

I may not be a perfect mom, but I love my little peanut perfectly.


All Moved In

Well, it took Cory and I 10 hours to move Monday and we still didn't get it all done that day. It sucked. I won't even sugar coat it.  But the good news is, we're all moved in and settled and our renters moved in last night and today.

It was really hard to leave our house for the last time not really knowing what it'll look like when we get back. But there's no going back now. Hopefully time flies by from here on out.

It's actually been kind of fun for me to live at home again. I grew up here so this is home for me still which helps with the transition. I don't know how Cory feels about it yet, but I do know he sleeps much better here when he's on nights and has to sleep during the day. So that is a major plus. Kennedy has transitioned really well, too. Having her say goodbye to the house was really sad. We went down to clean and she was really upset about the house being empty and kept asking me where all the stuff was like her bed, the tv, and her cups in the fridge. I cried. But it's really helpful knowing it's still our house. If we had lost our house for whatever reason I would have been an emotional wreck.

Our biggest fear is that the care and love we've put into our house will be ruined. That's why this has been emotional. We would worry regardless of who we rented to. But time will tell.

Alright, enough about the house.

Here's a cute picture of us to end this post on a positive note: