It's 9:15 p.m. and it's snowing like crazy. My sweet husband is out shoveling our 8+ inches of snow off the driveway while I sit in the living room with the curtains open, wrapped in a blanket, watching it snow. I'd be out helping him but we only have one shovel. It's one of those magical snowy nights where it looks like it's dawn all night long. In fact, I'm watching kids play out in the street on a school night because we have yet to see a single snow plow in the 6 hours it's been snowing and it feels like it's 7:00 in the morning.
I love to watch it snow. Something about it just makes me contemplative. It's quiet, peaceful, and kind of sets a visual standard for my mind to relax and think quietly. And although part of me wants to hop in the Jeep and go slide around the neighborhood streets, the other part of me is glad I'm sitting here in my warm blanket thinking about life. I need it.
You see, I've written about 5 blog posts the last couple days that I haven't ever published. I've had so many things on my mind and I've wanted to get them out. Writing it all down helps them make sense. But tonight, in the peace and beauty of the snowy night, I realize that none of it matters. I spend so much time worrying about things I can't change or that I'm too scared to just face and get it over with. I think about hurtful things and how to make them better. I almost never come up with a solution.
One thing I've realized about myself is that I can't take hurtful things or criticism lying down. I'm not at all good at just letting things roll off my back and not affect me in some way. But tonight that changes. The snow doesn't care who loves it or hates it; it continues to fall in all it's beauty and it sticks around for as long as it wants. It quietly does it's thing and it impacts people either for the better or not. I'm going to take a lesson from the snow. I'm going to keep quietly doing my thing and keep being me in all my beauty. I'm going to keep being proud of the life I have and not let anyone's snide comments bother me or affect me in any way. Some people will hate me and some will love me. You can't please everyone. And about 90% of what I spend my time worrying about doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things, it's so unimportant that it almost makes me laugh and feel stupid. I have too much going for me and too much other stuff in my life that makes me happy to spend time worrying about things that don't matter or that make me sad. There's too many people who need help with their bigger problems to have time to sit around and worry about dumb stuff.
So tonight, I'm watching the snow and saying a silent prayer of thanks for its example. I'm going to be better. It may seem stupid but the stormy night brought some real peace to my heart tonight.