Oh, Crap!

Today was a busy day for us and we had plans to go and have fun since we hardly ever get to. After some mishaps and a very tired child in the car, we decided to head home early for a little bit and let her nap in her bed. I had to perform a one woman circus to keep her awake in the car but we made it home! I carefully carried her to her bed, gave her the annoying mom kisses, laid her down, and left her room.

She cried for a short time which was nothing out of the ordinary. I finished folding some laundry and took a quick power nap only to be awoken by Kennedy squealing and playing in her crib. The playing continued for another hour. She obviously wasn't going to nap, despite her exhausted display in the car. I was a little miffed. Life is easier when your child isn't cranky, but we'd manage.

I went into her room to get her up and was blown away by the ranking stench of poop. Oh great, she pooped. That's why she wouldn't sleep! Picky kids! I did the usual routine (opened the blinds, turned off the humidifier and space heater) and turned to look at my child that, at that very moment, I was only slightly annoyed with.

I didn't know just how quickly that would change until I finally looked my little "angel" square in the face and saw that it was completely covered with a brownish war paint. It also reeked. Like, horrible dog poop reek. Stunned, I froze and took in the scene around me. She had used the same "war paint" to create a beautiful mural on the front of her crib. She had also applied a mud mask to her hair, on her hands and elbows, and on every surface of the crib. It was also caked around her mouth, which can only mean one, nauseating thing....

All my life I've heard poop stories similar to this one. I laughed and silently hoped that would never be me. Yet, here we are. My very own poop story to tell.

I gave her a bath and called my personal physician (aka, mom) to make sure she wasn't going to contract some horrible disease from eating her own poop like hepatitis, herpes, or dementia. It turns out she will probably be ok, except for losing the respect of her peers when she's older and I get to come tell stories to her class on her birthday. Thank heavens for payback. The cleanup wasn't as bad as I expected. And now she has fresh, clean bedding to sleep on tonight. Isn't that just so lucky of her?

I also ordered 12 new white onesies her size to prevent further problems.

I've gotta say, being a mom is wonderful.

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