9.17.2012

Having Faith

I am learning a very important lesson about faith this week.

I decided after having Kennedy that I wanted to run again. So I did. It wasn't until the spring that I really wanted to get serious about it. So, I signed up for some races and worked very, very hard all summer to be ready for them. It was not easy having a small child and a husband who's work hours are insane. I was either running at 5:00 a.m., late at night, or with Kennedy in tow. I have endured many physical challenges this summer as well; shin splints, side aches, asthma, and most recently, excruciating knee pain. Ok, maybe not excruciating but dangit, it hurts!! I've overcome physical and mental challenges, spent many hours strength training and getting myself fit. I've busted my butt to be ready for a big race I have this weekend and have prepared myself to be more than ready to accomplish the goal I set for myself a year ago. I didn't think I would be able to accomplish this goal for a while but I was able to get myself ready through dedication. I was jazzed, I was pumped, I was READY!!!

But then Friday of last week Kennedy woke up with a cold. I don't want to paint over the fact that her being sick alone makes me sad. It sucks having a sick child :(. But I also instantly started worrying about catching it myself. After all I've overcome and done this summer, the last thing I need is to be sick on race day. I've tried all kinds of remedies people swear by and even had Cory give me a blessing. The words in the blessing gave me some comfort but unfortunately, I still caught her cold.

So here I am, sick with a cold and freaking out a little bit. Ok, freaking out a lot. Yes, getting sick is part of life. No, I can't always control what happens to me. But this race has been SO important to me. It's pushed me and given me the drive to do things I didn't think I was capable of. And here I am, 5 days before the big day, sick. I would be lying if I said I am taking it well. I've cried a lot and I'm very upset about it. My first thought was, "There will be other races I can do", but there's really not any I'll be around for that I can register for. This is it for me.

I can't even tell you how much it has tried my faith. I keep having a peaceful reassurance that everything will be ok. I'm not totally miserable with this cold and I'm saturating myself with all kinds of vitamins and teas in order to help keep my body going. I have a huge hope that it will pass quickly and I'll be able to accomplish my goal on Saturday. I'm trying to trust that the Lord understands how important this is to me and will bless me to be better by race day. I have the motivation and the muscle and preparation to make it happen, I just need my body to have enough energy. I'm praying my heart out that I'll have enough energy. I'm trying to stay positive and have faith that this cold won't take me out. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. It won't be the end of the world if I don't finish this race in my goal time. I know that. But honestly, it would be a blow and I really don't need that right now. So, here's to trusting in the Lord and trying to sleep lots and drink more OJ than I ever have before and try not to do this:

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