It’s official, we’ve reached the freak out point; maybe me more than Cory. Well, I’m not sure about that but I’m definitely more vocal about it so I just assume so. We’re in the 30’s as far as days left. That thought makes me so excited but scares me to death. I’ve complained a lot. No really, A LOT! Being pregnant has had lots of surprises and lots of things I expected but didn’t know would be so bad. I’m so ready for that to be done. I’m ready to not be swollen everywhere and not be in pain all day long. I’m ready to be able to eat more than an ounce of food an hour and be able to breathe again. The list goes on and on. But the truth is, I’m getting really scared for what’s coming. Yeah, labor will suck and both Cory and I are afraid of that. I’m not a fan of pain and Cory has said several times that it’s going to kill him to see my go through that. But that awfulness aside, the reality of what’s coming is really hitting home.
We knew before we even started trying that having kids would change things forever. But we never really had to face that reality until now. We’re nervous about how we’ll adjust to being parents and how much harder everything will be. We’re worried about Cory being able to get enough rest for work with him being such a light sleeper. We hope and pray she’s beautiful, normal, and healthy. All these worries are normal so I don’t feel bad having them. Anyone who says they don’t worry about being a first time parent is flat out lying. But we’re also really, really excited. It’s crazy how much we can already love a person we haven’t really met yet; a person who’s only real interaction with us has been kicks and jabs protruding out of my stomach. Well, and hiccups. It’s so weird to think that after all the horrible things that have happened to my body and how awful I feel some days, that I still love the little bean that’s causing all the crap. We’re so excited to be with her finally and see what she looks like. We’re so excited to watch her learn and grow and get older and start walking and talking. We’re excited to be an eternal family. It’s hard to be excited for everything because we’ve never done this before and really have no idea how rewarding it’s really going to be. That part will be fun.
I don’t feel ready for this but I don’t think anyone ever really feels ready. I think we’re ready enough and the Lord will help us through the rest. I know He will. After all, this being parent’s thing was really His idea, not ours, we just did what we were told. Haha. I’m kidding, of course we wanted children. We were just told to embark on this journey a little earlier than we planned. But there really isn’t a better time for this to happen. I’m so glad the Lord knows what He’s doing. I’m so glad He’s blessed us enough that I can stay at home with her and we have everything we need to provide for her. It’s very humbling.
Except for posting pictures of the nursery whenever we get around to getting it done, I probably won’t blog about this anymore till she comes. First off, I don’t want to ONLY talk about baby things. Second, there’s nothing else to really to say. The clock is ticking and we’re waiting out the ride. We’re scared, excited, apprehensive, and humbled. It’s going to be an adventure. Bring it on.