Last night I had quite the nightmare. I dreamed that Cory and I were living with my parents in their house. (Don't worry Mom, that's not the nightmare part...) and a bunch of weird women moved into the house next to us. One night, they lit a fire in the yard and started dancing around wearing black, pointing at our house, and shouting weird things in a language that sounded scary. We were trying to spy on them but every time we'd peek through the blinds, they'd see us. Or, the lights in our house would randomly turn on. Anyway, they were witches and they had just summoned the Devil to posses our house. Awesome. So, I was making talapia for dinner (I only remember that because this random recipe idea came to me in the dream that sounded wonderful. I might actually have to try it) and I was out of some of the ingredients. I bought them, but accidentally left them in the car. I sent Cory out to get them, but he didn't come back. After about 10 minutes, Lisa ran in and told me he had found where the Devil was... in the car. He was paralyzed with fear and was in danger of being possessed himself. I ran out there, and was also struck with fear. Lisa shouted from the window, "It's like that guy on Fabelhaven that paralyzes you with fear! You need to keep moving and get rid of him, just like Seth kept going and pulled out the nail!" ( I know, that part sounds funny, but in my dream, and possibly in real life, I really was sick with fear). I knew Cory was in danger so I ran towards the car, threw it open and stabbed with all my might (with a knife that magically appeared) at what was the Devil, but in my dream it really looked like a plastic bag. Maybe the Devil was inside of it... anyhow, I got him to leave and saved Cory. We went back into the house with my family, locked the doors, covered all the windows and decided what to do.
At that moment, the witches started having another seance and allowed the Devil to enter into our house again. We were all terrified at what would happen. He kept moving around in the house so you never knew where he was; the only way to know was you'd feel that sickening fear and wouldn't be able to move. Keep in mind, I was actually feeling this. We were all huddled in the living room when all the sudden the cat started to talk to the Devil. He was possessing the cat. Laugh all you like, I would too, but we didn't know what to do. Anyway, at this point, I finally woke up in a panicked sweat and frozen to my bed with my heart pounding. I was so scared!! As soon as I got my surroundings and realized it was a dream and I was safe in my own home, I almost screamed to myself, "Why didn't we just cast him out with the priesthood?!"
It was then that I laughed at myself because it wasn't real. But had it been, I was so glad that I knew what to do, and that all the male members of my family are worthy priesthood holders and that they could do that if needed. As soon as I thought that, the scared feeling went away and I was filled with such joy and love. I know the dream sounds comical, but to me it was terrifying, and I was so grateful for my testimony of the priesthood and that in less than a minutes time, it helped that feeling going away.
I keep telling Cory that we must have something big coming up in our lives that Christ is preparing us for, because Satan is also trying to tare us down. It's scary, but I've felt Satan's influences SO STRONG lately. I'll find random thoughts in my head that I know he put there, hoping I'll entertain them. I've been good at pushing them away so far (they're not dirty thoughts, FYI, just thoughts that could be bad to think about). We attended the temple on Saturday and just before we went inside, I felt Satan trying to make me feel unworthy to enter. There's no reason why I should be feeling that way. I've felt him trying so hard, and on so many levels, it can only mean he's trying to stop us from something awesome. The thing I've noticed him trying to destroy the most is our marriage. I don't know how to define this without it sounding like we're having marital problems, because we're not. Let me give you some examples:
~The first couple days that Cory started his 12 hour shifts at Kennecott and I was alone, I handled them really well. All the sudden I had this thought, "I'm doing just fine without Cory, maybe he's not right for me." That thought was from Satan (this is an example of the thoughts he's putting into my mind). I KNOW without a doubt that Cory is my best friend and the perfect man for me. I quickly prayed for that to go away. But, if he's doing that to others and they're believing those thoughts, no wonder the divorce rate is so high.
~ Another example is whenever Cory and I don't see eye to eye on something, or he messes up the house I just cleaned I've been filled with intense anger! I've had to walk away and then talk to him. Thank heavens I've been able to control it, can you imagine the fights we'd have if I didn't? Oh man...
Anyway, I can just feel him trying to tare apart the sacredness of our being sealed together. We're doing all we can to build up our defenses, and we won't stop, because we know the right path to be on. But it's been weird. And a little scary. I just keep thinking of what awesome thing could be coming up that Satan is trying to ruin for us, and that keeps me going. I love Cory with all my heart. We know we made the right decision in marrying one another. We know the gospel is the truth and the only way to be happy. We'll keep building our testimonies and fighting off the influences of Satan. And we'll keep preparing for whatever we have coming in the future that Satan wants to stop so bad. I just hope I don't have anymore dreams where he's in our home. What a terrible feeling.