Preparing Utah

I firmly believe the following points should be discussed in drivers ed courses to better prepare the future generations for driving in Utah:
1. Construction cones are only there to remind you to keep an eye out for cops. They do not symbolize slowing your speed.
2. The more expensive your car is, the more rights and privilages are now available to you over your less fortunate commuters.
3. Tailgating is the way to tell someone they are in your way and you want them to move now, damnit!
4. If you have more than 3 kids, it's Utah state law to put a family sticker on the back of your van showing others how many people are in your vehicle. It's also a helpful guide when checking to make sure everyone is accounted for. Even the dog.
5. Your blinker is your" all access pass" on the road. It will even get you in places where there's no room or where you don't have a right to be.
6. Leaving a safe amount of space between you and the car in front of you is an instant invitation for someone to cut you off.
7. Your vehicle is equipped with a horn, but a raised middle finger is much more effective.
8. It is no use to wait for the Idaho driver going 60 in the fast lane to move over. It's just not going to happen. 9. When a semi signals to get over into your lane, he's really telling you to speed up and use more of the road. That sure is nice of them!
10. No matter what happens, you are the most important motorist and your destination is the most critical to be to, no matter who suffers. Especially when in Bountiful.
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Lisa McLachlan said...

Very Good, and very true! Did you come up with these all by yourself?

Wendy said...

You are so funny!! It's amazing how many of those rules I already had been taught by another driver!!

K. Diane said...

Nicely done! Love the deadpan delivery.

P.S. "Out of my way, I'm a motorist!" -Mr. Burns.