I tend to use this blog as more of a journal than anything. I've always believed in being honest and open. One thing that this blog has really helped me do is be more honest and open with myself. I know I've mentioned before that I've really been trying to better myself. I have picked 3 major flaws of mine to work on since about late Dec, early Jan:
1. I have a nasty habit of talking badly about people who I don't get along with well. It's a horrible habit, and it only brings me down, so I've really been working hard on speaking kindly about those who bother me.
2. I judge people way too easily. I know we're all guilty of that from time to time. But I've really been letting it get in the way of so many things and I need to stop.
3. I let things get to me WAY too easily. I've been called "dramatic" by my family at times because I just let certain things really eat at me.
I know I've made really great progress. I still have a long way to go. But I can tell a major difference in myself already. I've really been praying to the Lord for help and I can feel his help everyday. I'm so much more conscious about what I'm saying and how I'm feeling. It's also opened my eyes to so many other things that I need to work on. Isn't life grand? I know Satan is really testing me - especially in the last 12 hours. I've heard/read several things that have really been trying my work on these goals. But here's the best part... I know it! I'm aware of it and I'm aware that I need to keep myself in check!! YAY!! It's been really difficult. When someone says or does something hurtful, it's really hard to forgive and forget instead of call my mom and vent about it for 20 minutes - saying things I know I shouldn't. It's really hard to not be critical of people who are clearly more beautiful than me, especially when I'm struggling with my own self-esteem issues. It's really hard to not take offense when a person mentions something that is potentially insulting or hurtful. There's a good chance they didn't mean it that way or that it's not true. I'm learning so many lessons. I also know that these realizations have blossomed from some really sad/upsetting events that have happened recently in my life. They have been heartbreaking, but I am grateful I've been able to take something positive away from them. Reading my scrpitures has also done wonders. Each night I read the Saviors teachings and just yearn to be more like him. Life really is incredible. I plan to make mine as positive and better as I can, one day at a time.