Keepin' It Real

I just realized that I haven't updated our blog in almost 2 weeks. Most of that is due to the fact that we have the most spastic Internet ever and it only works when it wants to... and the last 2 weeks apparently have not been fitting into it's schedule. Which is perfect timing for the last few weeks of the semester of my online classes when all my big projects and assignments are due... anyway, I'm not bitter.

We're doing alright. Cory transferred to the meat department where he's been working 2-10 pm shifts. We're excited he's getting TONS more hours but we never get to see each other. I've been a baby about it honestly because I miss him, and I usually end up spending the nights alone in the basement. So if anyone gets bored, CALL ME!! Cory's also making preparations to buy a locker for his Jeep. He's very excited for our Moab trip this year in October. Oh, and a little while ago, SLCC held a welding competition at school and he got 3rd place! :) He's too modest to think it's a big deal but I was proud of him. It means he's doing a great job!

Things are a little crazy on my end but I'm doing okay. I'm sick AGAIN. I LOVE my job but I can't wait for summer when I'm not surrounded by adorable germ carriers. We have some exciting events coming up. We're headed to Goblin Valley for Spring Break in about 10 days. The Salt Lake Marathon is in 3 weeks. I hope being sick doesn't cramp my style too much. The semester will be over 2 weeks after that. April will be busy for us, but we'll manage.

Anyway, I know that's pretty boring and general but it's an update none the less.


St. Patty's Day Picnic!

I know this isn't the most exciting post to everyone else but it was fun to us. Cory has been working till 10:00 lately which has been a little sad and left me lonely at nights. Today he didn't have to work so we planned to go out and enjoy the weather and have a BBQ/picnic. We grilled shish-ka-bobs and had macaroni salad, crab salad, and mashed potatoes with it. YUMMY! We brought a blanket and laid out under the clouds. It was WONDERFUL! And the best part is, our desert was BIG LEAGUE CHEW!! The best bubble gum ever! It was a great time.

On another note, Adam Lambert deserves to win American Idol. He's a little weird but he's incredible. The end.


Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow

Wow! I am at a loss for words. I can't even begin to explain how blessed we have been this past month. Talk about humbling. For the past couple weeks, we were worried that we may start hurting for money. We've been praying for help, and boy has it come! Cory may have gotten a raise at work, along with tons more hours. I was blessed with some extra money out of nowhere. Today, Cory got a fairly large check from SLCC because apparently he qualifies for tuition reimbursement - so he got most of it back today. I just want to get on my knees and cry. We don't feel worthy to be so blessed. In fact, we've been more than adequately blessed since day one. I am just so grateful for the Lord and how he watches out for each and every one of us. I try to be appreciative of the luxuries we have because we know many people around the country and around the world may never experience it. We're so lucky.

Now to switch gears for a moment, there is something I would like to talk about. I know I've mentioned this before, but it may be time for a refresher. People keep asking me when we're going to have kids. My smart Alec answer is "9 months after we get pregnant." I just want to clarify that we're not looking to go to that next stage of our lives yet. Unless we have a boo-boo, our family size wont be growing for at least another year. We do not under any circumstanced condemn those the choose parenthood early. We just don't want it yet. I hope that helps clear things up for everyone :).

And now to leave you with a couple laughs from the mouths (and other parts) of first graders...

" I have the Decoration of Independence at my house!"

Today my favorite little girl was up at the board in front of the class editing a sentence. Suddenly, a rather loud fart rang out throughout the classroom. Becky and I were in the back of the room and we weren't sure who had blessed us with such a gem. Judging by the confused searching looks of most of the students, they didn't know either. Then the sweet little girl working on the white board lets out the most hilarious guilty giggle I've ever heard. You can imagine the uproar that followed. Mrs. Aposhian told me later it reeked up front. Way to go kiddo! :)


An Endless Journey

It seems more often than not I sit here and stare at an empty "new post" screen trying to find the right words to write. I'll write something, then erase it. Write and erase. It's hard when I know who will be reading my thoughts and what's going on with our lives. I'm always worried about offending people, sounding self-centered, writing too much that no one cares to read or revealing too much to those that I know read my blog that I'd rather they not. But I guess that is the price to pay for having a public internet site. It seems unfair because a lot of the time I am holding back how I really feel because of what others might think. I do that a lot in my life - but lately it's been something that I'm overcoming. These past couple months have really changed the way I feel about myself. I've mentioned before that I've needed to make some personal changes, which I have been working on. But I've also had a period of self-realization where I feel more keen to stand up for myself and my rights. I have the right to feel angry when someone hurts me. I have the right to express my love to my husband. I have the right to have a bad day. I have the right to have a good day. I have the right to choose my friends. I have the right to be happy.

I find myself feeling guilty for a lot of my emotions and feelings. I've been pondering why, and the only foundation for it that I can find is I'm worried what other people will think. Why do I do this to myself? My whole life I've been concerned about that. Sadly, it hasn't only been with my emotions either. Lots of what I do and think is partly motivated by how others will view it. This has been the basis of my self-esteem problems. I am constantly assuming what people are thinking of me. And 99% of the time, I assume they are thinking horrible things. I have wide hip bones so I automatically assume people will think I'm fat. I have a plain fashion taste so I assume others see me as plain and boring. I'm worried to have a conversation with people who intimidate me because they might think I'm stupid. I'm worried to blog about how I feel because people might read it and laugh at it or gossip about me. And you know what? They probably will. Throughout my life, someone will think I'm fat. Someone will think I'm stupid. Someone will find me plain and boring. People will gossip about me. It happens. But what do I think of myself? How does my family view me? What is really important? These are some things I've been really pondering the last little while. First off, lets put aside that I know my family thinks I can be a brat. I can. And I'm trying to fix that. But overall, they love me. Cory loves me. His family loves me. My Heavenly Father loves me. Do I love me? The most obvious answer to that is no. How can others really love me if I don't? I also believe this is the basis for my negativity as well. I've discovered a lot, in case you can't tell.

So I've been working on loving myself. I realize that sounds bad. I haven't been trying to focus on ME. In fact, I've been trying to focus more on others. Service is the best way to lose your selfishness right? That still is, and forever will be, a work in progress that I hope to keep improving throughout my lifetime. But I've been trying to love who I am, what I am like, what I look like, and how I deal with things. I've been trying to see myself as the Lord views me. This is no easy task. It's been difficult. But I've noticed a difference. I was telling Cory last night I've felt an improvement in my attitude. Work is going so much better, so is school. I feel better about myself. I feel a little more confident. I'm not as afraid to be myself. I have miles left to go, but at least the journey has been started. So why did I blog about this? Because I can. Because this is how I feel. And because for once in my life, I don't care about what people think. This is me. This is Megan. I'm trying to evolve and improve my experience here on earth. And I'm loving it.


The Perfect Body

I found this article a few days ago that I LOVED so I thought I would share it on here. It seems more and more people can benefit from hearing words like this - especially me. It was comforting. Enjoy! :)

"I consider myself a fit person. I exercise five or six days a week, usually for over an hour per session. I lift weights and I'm not afraid of heavy ones, either. I do cardio 4-5 days per week, ran a 5K last year without training, and I've mastered some of the challenging Pilates moves that I couldn't do a year ago. I live an active lifestyle, and I choose activities that are fun so that I don't dread working out. I'm sorry if others who look at my body don't think I'm fit enough for their standards, but you know, I'm fit enough for me. A healthy lifestyle and a fit body comes with moderation—not obsession. There was a time in my life when I obsessed over calories, exercised way too much, and ate way too little. I looked very much like the fitness models you see on magazines and DVDs then—defined shoulders, abs and legs. I tanned, too. But you know what? I was obsessed. Although my body looked "ideal" in terms of fitness and just the right amount of definition, I was not healthy. I had an eating disorder. And it took me YEARS to really understand the concept of moderation and to find peace with my body and the food I ate.

I used to look at photos of celebrities and other fit models and be jealous. Today I look at them and, while I'd love to look like that, I realize that—for me—it's not worth it. It's not worth not eating cake on my birthday; feeling hungry all the time; dragging myself out of bed at 5 a.m. to exercise for two and a half hours, and then again for another hour before I went to bed; choosing exercise over other fun activities with my friends; or losing my period for months at a time. Is that really the picture of health and fitness? Hardly.

I'm not saying that every person who "looks" fit is obsessed or unhealthy. Some people have excellent genetics that allow their bodies to respond favorably to a healthy amount of exercise and a moderate diet. But for the rest of us? To be honest, it might not be in the cards for you unless you're willing to go to extremes.

I don't want you to lower your standards or think that you'll never look good or be happy with your body, but I do think that there is much more to life than achieving what others consider to be the perfect body. I want to be the NEW picture of health and fitness--one that isn't about perfection.

For too long, we've been bombarded with images of "beauty" each day and felt bad about ourselves. Most advertisers try to make you feel bad about yourself so that you'll buy a product, service, or even a workout DVD to make yourself better. Well, I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm a busy working professional with a house, a garden, a boyfriend, friends and a life outside the gym. I don't have all day to exercise, and even if I did, I'd probably choose a different way to spend my time. To me, exercising and eating right are just one—important—part of my life that allows me to live and enjoy my life to the fullest.

I'm just like you. I'm a real person. But I'd like to think that I can still be an inspiration to others, even if I don't have a perfect body. Do I really need a makeup artist and more defined arms to help people feel empowered, motivated, and successful? I sure don't think so. When you see me, you can feel good about yourself instead of never feeling good enough."


Spiritual Weekend

It was a good weekend for us. Saturday was cool. We woke up and headed out to the Jordan River Temple for my cousins wedding. It was the first time either of us had been there. The sealing was beautiful and my cousin looked amazing. We don't see my Dad's side of the family very often but it was fun to go support her on her special day. Then after running some errands we headed home and took a quick nap before we were off to Braden's baptism. He looked so cute in his little white jump suit. I was so proud of him. I was also beaming for Cory because he got to baptize and confirm him. It made me even more grateful for him. Braden seemed happy. It was a need day. Sadly we forgot out camera so we don't have any pictures. Anyway, I had a awesome experience today in sacrament that made me so happy to have the gospel in my life. How blessed we really are! There is no other source of happiness on this earth. I know that without a doubt. I'm so humbled to be so incredibly blessed. Being blessed doesn't only mean having lots of worldy pleasures. It's so much more than that. I'm so happy for the peace the gospel brings. These truly are troubling times and it's so comforting to know it's all going to be okay if I do my part. I've been sealed to the man who I love and appreciate so much that I can't find words to describe him. We are going to be together FOREVER. We have a warm home that more than suits our needs. We have a steady income that provides for us. We have the blessing of education. We live in a free country. I have a small handful of friends who are such rare treasures in my life and I'm SO blessed to have their love and support. I could go on and on but today I felt such incredible peace and I know we're on the right track. I just wanted to share that with you all. It's been a wonderful weekend. Now I just need to channel that into making it a wonderful week.
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